tesla

CD Projekt Red Hires Elon Musk to Oversee All Future Failed Launches

WARSAW — Following the tumultuous release of their long anticipated RPG CyberPunk 2077, CD Projekt Red has appointed entrepreneur and…

4 years ago

Elon Musk Announces He’s Raising His Son Without Pronouns or Friends

SAN FRANCISCO — Tesla, Inc. CEO Elon Musk announced today that he will be raising his son X Æ A-Xii…

4 years ago

Tesla Releases Cheaper Model With 5 Second Advertisements Before Letting You Brake

LOS ANGELES — At an unveiling at the Tesla Design Studio, CEO Elon Musk presented a new, cheaper base model…

4 years ago

REPORT: Self-Driving Cars 95% Less Likely to Pull Off Sick Donuts in 7/11 Parking Lot

PALO ALTO, Calif. — A disheartening new report from Tesla concluded earlier this week that self-driving cars are still years…

5 years ago

Tesla Board Begging Elon Musk to Just Open Whimsical Chocolate Factory Already

PALO ALTO, Calif. — A letter to Tesla CEO Elon Musk from the rest of the company’s Board of Directors…

6 years ago

Elon Musk Unveils Supercomputer Capable of Simulating Entire Universe or Running PUBG on Medium Graphics

PALO ALTO, Calif. — SpaceX and Tesla CEO Elon Musk revealed a newly designed supercomputer capable of simulating an entire…

7 years ago