television

Rich People Greenlight 14 New Shows About Poor People

LOS ANGELES — The wealthy owners of the most popular television networks and streaming services have previewed their fall slate…

3 years ago

Newest Weird Jeff Goldblum Commercial Not Even an Ad for Anything

LOS ANGELES — A national thirty second television spot featuring iconic actor Jeff Goldblum does not appear to actually be…

4 years ago

Man Gets 4 Episodes Into WandaVision Before Realizing He’s Actually Watching Frasier

MADISON, Wisc. — Local Marvel fan and notorious dumbass Bailey Lynch was reportedly bamboozled into watching multiple episodes of 1993's…

4 years ago

‘I Hunger for More Movies’ Bellows Minotaur Living Beneath Netflix Headquarters

LOS GATOS, Calif. — The grotesque monster living under Netflix cried out in hunger this morning, desperate for more mid-budget…

4 years ago

If You Think All TV Remotes Should Be Controllers, You’re Fucking Idiot

There’s an article going around today, making the ridiculous argument that all TV remotes should actually be gaming controllers. I…

4 years ago

It’s Time to Admit That All TV Remotes Should Be Controllers

As our technology gets better and better, people become attached to the familiar. Old interfaces become the preferred, retro designs…

4 years ago

Loving Couple Looking to Adopt New TV Show

ANCHORAGE, Ala. — Local couple Alice and Mark Holland are reportedly looking to adopt a new television, bringing it into…

4 years ago

Group of Lifelong Friends Ruins Franchise by Adding Child Character

NEW YORK — A group of lifelong friends prepared to have their dynamic changed this week as the announcement was…

4 years ago

Scientists Warn Die Hard Simpsons Fans Could Only Like One Season By 2024

AMSTERDAM — Leading climate scientists have made a startling announcement, alleging that passionate fan enthusiasm for The Simpsons could dwindle…

4 years ago