sword

New Patch Fixes Glitch That Made Pen Mightier Than Sword

EARTH — Developers of the planet Earth have released a new patch that fixes a thousands-year-old glitch which accidentally made…

4 years ago

‘Assassin’s Creed: Valhalla’ Designed, Developed and Produced by Multicultural Team of Various Weird Sword Dudes

MONTREAL — Ubisoft has taken a diverse approach to their upcoming Norse-themed video game Assassin’s Creed: Valhalla, making sure to…

5 years ago

Next Game of Thrones? My Hot Friend Bought Sword

After the thrilling conclusion of the hit HBO show Game of Thrones left viewers decidedly enthralled and satisfied, the world…

5 years ago

I’m Voting For Bernie Sanders Unless Another Candidate Proves They Have More Swords Than Him

The 2020 Democratic Primary race is shaping up to be a cutthroat march to the nomination. Well, it was, until…

6 years ago

Man Replaces Ancient, Legendary Sword In Inventory With Ancienter, Legendarier Sword

SUNWELL PLATEAU, Quel'Danas — Eyewitnesses in the popular online multiplayer game “World of Warcraft” reported that local Human Paladin, Atherillon,…

6 years ago

‘Breath of the Wild’ Player Finally Acquires Rare, Powerful Weapon to Look At and Never Use

COLUMBUS, Ohio — Luna Dalton came across a mighty weapon guaranteed to deal massive damage to her enemies while also…

7 years ago

Man Grinding Out McDonald’s Shifts to Afford Cool New Sword

JOPLIN, Miss. — Weapons aficionado Douglas Han has begun taking extra shifts at his fast food job to acquire what…

7 years ago