June 14, 2021 New Patch Fixes Glitch That Made Pen Mightier Than Sword New Patch Fixes Glitch That Made Pen Mightier Than Sword EARTH — Developers of the planet Earth have released a new patch that fixes a thousands-year-old glitch which accidentally made pens mightier than swords. “Oooh…
April 30, 2020 ‘Assassin’s Creed: Valhalla’ Designed, Developed and Produced by Multicultural Team of Various Weird Sword Dudes ‘Assassin’s Creed: Valhalla’ Designed, Developed and Produced by Multicultural Team of Various Weird Sword Dudes MONTREAL — Ubisoft has taken a diverse approach to their upcoming Norse-themed video game Assassin’s Creed: Valhalla, making sure to hire a multicultural team of…
July 4, 2019 Next Game of Thrones? My Hot Friend Bought a Sword Next Game of Thrones? My Hot Friend Bought a Sword After the thrilling conclusion of the hit HBO show Game of Thrones left viewers decidedly enthralled and satisfied, the world is ready to take on…
March 19, 2019 I’m Voting For Bernie Sanders Unless Another Candidate Proves They Have More Swords Than Him I’m Voting For Bernie Sanders Unless Another Candidate Proves They Have More Swords Than Him The 2020 Democratic Primary race is shaping up to be a cutthroat march to the nomination. Well, it was, until I learned that Bernie Sanders…
November 28, 2018 Man Replaces Ancient, Legendary Sword In Inventory With Ancienter, Legendarier Sword Man Replaces Ancient, Legendary Sword In Inventory With Ancienter, Legendarier Sword SUNWELL PLATEAU, Quel’Danas — Eyewitnesses in the popular online multiplayer game “World of Warcraft” reported that local Human Paladin, Atherillon, managed to replace his current…
December 9, 2017 ‘Breath of the Wild’ Player Finally Acquires Rare, Powerful Weapon to Look At and Never Use ‘Breath of the Wild’ Player Finally Acquires Rare, Powerful Weapon to Look At and Never Use COLUMBUS, Ohio — Luna Dalton came across a mighty weapon guaranteed to deal massive damage to her enemies while also being as fragile as spun…
November 14, 2017 Man Grinding Out McDonald’s Shifts to Afford Cool New Sword Man Grinding Out McDonald’s Shifts to Afford Cool New Sword JOPLIN, Miss. — Weapons aficionado Douglas Han has begun taking extra shifts at his fast food job to acquire what he calls his “most badass…
