March 15, 2020 Bernie Sanders Calls on Nintendo to Release Animal Crossing Early Bernie Sanders Calls on Nintendo to Release Animal Crossing Early BURLINGTON, Vt. — In the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic, Senator Bernie Sanders has called on Nintendo to preemptively release the much-anticipated Animal Crossing: New…
January 2, 2020 Ring Fit User Hates How Crowded Adventure Gets in January Ring Fit User Hates How Crowded Adventure Gets in January LITTLE ROCK, Ark. — Local Nintendo Ring Fit user Dan Remington expressed frustration at the massively increased number people playing Ring Fit Adventure this month,…
December 29, 2019 Character You Let Die in First Playthrough Seems Distant in New Game+ Character You Let Die in First Playthrough Seems Distant in New Game+ FORKED RIVER, N.J. — Local gamer Christopher Nguyen noticed the character he allowed to die in his first playthrough of Fire Emblem: Three Houses has…
July 10, 2019 Nintendo Unveils Switch Heavy for Gamers Who ‘Don’t Care About Playing on the Go’ Nintendo Unveils Switch Heavy for Gamers Who ‘Don’t Care About Playing on the Go’ KYOTO — A Nintendo video presentation Tuesday morning unveiled the Nintendo Switch Heavy, a new model of the console specifically for gamers who don’t care…
June 8, 2019 5 Awesome ‘Breath of the Wild’ Recipes to Make While Ganon’s Genocide Rages On 5 Awesome ‘Breath of the Wild’ Recipes to Make While Ganon’s Genocide Rages On Two years after its release, The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild remains one of the best games you’re going to play today. Its…
May 29, 2019 36-Year-Old Gamer Practicing Every Day For Casual Smash Bros Match With Nephew at Family Get Together 36-Year-Old Gamer Practicing Every Day For Casual Smash Bros Match With Nephew at Family Get Together ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Jimmy Feldman has reportedly been practicing Super Smash Bros. Ultimate for three hours every single day after work in preparation for when…
February 13, 2019 Switch Owner With No Other Technology Desperately Hoping Nintendo Announces Netflix Support Switch Owner With No Other Technology Desperately Hoping Nintendo Announces Netflix Support KENOSHA, Wisc. — Nintendo Switch owner Kyle Goulet said today that he is desperately hoping Nintendo will announce Netflix support for the console during its…
January 6, 2019 Nintendo Says They Haven’t Gotten Any Faxes Complaining About Their Online Service Nintendo Says They Haven’t Gotten Any Faxes Complaining About Their Online Service REDMOND, Wash. — Nintendo executives expressed shock upon learning fans do not like their online service because they reportedly have not received any complaints from…
December 7, 2018 Guy Who Doesn’t Have $60 Right Now Somehow Manages to Buy Switch, Smash Bros, Two Pro Controllers, and Ethernet Adapter Guy Who Doesn’t Have $60 Right Now Somehow Manages to Buy Switch, Smash Bros, Two Pro Controllers, and Ethernet Adapter TUCSON, Ariz. — Local gamer Pierce Roderick has reportedly gathered enough capital to purchase all of the necessary equipment for him to properly play the…
