April 18, 2020 Eeek! A Bug’s Life. What a Wretched Film Eeek! A Bug’s Life. What a Wretched Film Eeek! You wish to know about A Bug’s Life? What a wretched film. Such horror. Repugnance! Good heavens. Watching it, I struggle to maintain my…
April 13, 2020 Laid Off Gamer Plays Switch in Bathroom Just to Feel Normal Again Laid Off Gamer Plays Switch in Bathroom Just to Feel Normal Again LINCOLN, Neb. — After being laid off from his job at a regional cardboard box supply company last week, local gamer Dale Lowry has reportedly…
April 9, 2020 Animal Crossing: New Horizons is So Beautiful You Can Almost Forget It’s a Rehab Facility Animal Crossing: New Horizons is So Beautiful You Can Almost Forget It’s a Rehab Facility Written by Jay Miller Narrated by Mark Roebuck Edited by Peter Kemme
April 5, 2020 So-Called Resident Doesn’t Even Have DIY Recipes to Offer So-Called Resident Doesn’t Even Have DIY Recipes to Offer NEW YORK — Local apartment resident Milo, a 4-year old house cat, reportedly has no DIY recipes to offer his roommates, frustrated sources confirmed. “I…
April 3, 2020 Animal Crossing Player Buries Government Check in Hole Animal Crossing Player Buries Government Check in Hole PARMA, Ohio — Local Animal Crossing: New Horizons player, Theresa Marks, reportedly plans to bury her government check for $1,200 as soon as she gets…
April 2, 2020 Switch Owners Enter Mexican Stand-Off Over Which Will Type in Other’s Friend Code First Switch Owners Enter Mexican Stand-Off Over Which Will Type in Other’s Friend Code First TOLEDO, Ohio — A pair of Nintendo Switch owners have entered day seven of a stand-off over who will be the first to send the…
March 31, 2020 Refurbished Joy Con Won’t Stop Talking About Its Trip to San Francisco Refurbished Joy Con Won’t Stop Talking About Its Trip to San Francisco AKRON, Ohio — A joy con that was recently mailed back from San Francisco after having some drift issues repaired by Nintendo reportedly won’t stop…
March 28, 2020 Gamer Sets Clock Ahead 3 Months to Skip Past Pandemic Gamer Sets Clock Ahead 3 Months to Skip Past Pandemic ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — Local gamer Freddy Strickland has changed all the clocks in his apartment to early July in order to skip past the COVID-19…
March 19, 2020 Animal Crossing Delayed Indefinitely After Gulliver Washes Up on Shore With COVID-19 Animal Crossing Delayed Indefinitely After Gulliver Washes Up on Shore With COVID-19 KYOTO, Japan — Nintendo made the difficult decision to delay Animal Crossing: New Horizons indefinitely after Gulliver washed up on shore carrying the coronavirus early…
