September 29, 2020 5 Reasons Why We Still Don’t Believe Those ‘3D Mario Collection’ Rumors 5 Reasons Why We Still Don’t Believe Those ‘3D Mario Collection’ Rumors By now you’ve seen the rumors: a collection of some of Mario’s greatest 3D adventures are supposedly going to be released on Switch. Well, if…
September 7, 2020 Opinion: Pikmin 3 Deluxe Re-Release Comes Just in Time to Teach Children the Value of Mass Sacrifice Opinion: Pikmin 3 Deluxe Re-Release Comes Just in Time to Teach Children the Value of Mass Sacrifice Our nation’s schools are facing a crisis — not a crisis of health, but a crisis of fear. Parents, misinformed by the liberal media, seem…
September 3, 2020 Nintendo Announces You Can Borrow Their Old Games But They’re Gonna Need Them Back Nintendo Announces You Can Borrow Their Old Games But They’re Gonna Need Them Back KYOTO, Japan — Nintendo announced a collection of 3D Mario games from past generations coming to Nintendo Switch today, available to be borrowed from them…
August 9, 2020 Divorcing Couple Agrees to Joint Custody of Raymond Divorcing Couple Agrees to Joint Custody of Raymond RIDGEWOOD, N.J. — After hours of mediation, divorcing couple David and Sophie Keller have finally found middle ground as they have agreed to share joint…
July 4, 2020 Animal Crossing Villagers Freak Out During Fireworks Animal Crossing Villagers Freak Out During Fireworks NORTHERN HEMISPHERE — Chaos erupted during a Fourth of July fireworks celebration held by the animal inhabitants of the newly settled New Texas Island, sources…
June 29, 2020 Vault Boy Skin Introduces Dozens of Glitches to Smash Bros Vault Boy Skin Introduces Dozens of Glitches to Smash Bros KYOTO, Japan — Nintendo released a statement this morning defending their latest patch to Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, which adds a new Vault Boy skin…
June 17, 2020 Millennial Excited to Return to Pokémon Snap With Photography Degree Under His Belt Millennial Excited to Return to Pokémon Snap With Photography Degree Under His Belt CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — A millennial gamer who grew up with Pokémon Snap is excited to play the new Nintendo Switch version now that he has…
June 16, 2020 NYPD Sends Controller to Crime Lab After Officer Loses in Smash Bros NYPD Sends Controller to Crime Lab After Officer Loses in Smash Bros NEW YORK — The NYPD confirmed today that they have launched an official investigation into the controller purchased at a local GameStop by policeman Steve…
June 15, 2020 Despised Animal Crossing Villager Can’t Afford to Move Away Despised Animal Crossing Villager Can’t Afford to Move Away DESERTED ISLAND — Local Animal Crossing villager Ursala has been forced to continue receiving daily harassment on the deserted island she inhabits due to her…
