superhero

Earth 616 Residents Wary of New Vaccine Developed by Team of Brilliant Scientists

NEW YORK — Residents of Earth 616’s New York City are reportedly wary of a new COVID-19 vaccine that was…

4 years ago

Magneto’s Credit Cards All Fucked Up

GENOSHA — Brotherhood of Mutants leader Magneto has vowed revenge on humanity for designing credit cards that are destroyed by…

4 years ago

Professor X Unsure What to Do With Mutant Whose Only Power Is Knowing When Bob Seger Song Is Playing on Any Classic Rock Radio Station in America

NORTH SALEM, N.Y. — Professor Charles Xavier, headmaster at Charles Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters, is reportedly at a loss…

4 years ago

“With Great Power, Comes No Responsibility,” Cop Tells Spider-Man

NEW YORK — New York police officer David Whitehead pulled Spider-Man aside today after teaming up to beat up a…

4 years ago

Tony Stark Announces Plan to Reverse Climate Change with Big Honkin’ Laser

NEW YORK —  Billionaire industrialist Tony Stark announced a proposal today that would solve the ongoing climate crisis by shooting…

4 years ago

New Version of Batman Screams Constantly to Navigate in the Dark

BURBANK, Calif. — DC Comics has announced the newest iteration of Batman, who will navigate through the cold, dark streets…

4 years ago

We Apologize For Publishing Darkseid’s Anti-Life Equation

We hear you.  This is a fragile point in history, where every voice matters. Particularly when those voices are screaming…

4 years ago

DC Announces Movie Adaptation of Superman 64

BURBANK, Calif. — Warner Brothers has announced that the next edition in the DC Extended Universe will be an adaptation…

6 years ago

Stay Tuned After the Credits of Venom Because They Start That Fucker Over

Of all the influence the Marvel Cinematic Universe has had on the comic book movie adaptation genre, none have been…

6 years ago