super smash bros

Gamer Pokes Head Back Into Smash Bros. Ultimate to Play Exactly One Match as Steve

NEW YORK — Local gamer Jesse Nunez excitedly turned on his Switch to download the latest software update for Super…

4 years ago

Gamer Can’t Help But Hear ‘Continue?’ Every Day When Waking Up

ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — Local gamer Stephen McLaughlin can’t help but hear the voice of the Super Smash Bros. Melee announcer…

4 years ago

Guy Who’s Really Good at Landing Mario’s Forward Smash Can’t Possibly Have Hurt All Those People

SAN DIEGO — Fans of professional Smash Bros. player and alleged sexual predator ‘K1ra’ have reported widespread feelings of disbelief…

4 years ago

Gamer Training Months for Melee Tournament Heartbroken Upon Discovering They Didn’t Mean ‘Godzilla: Destroy All Monsters Melee’

JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — Dedicated Godzilla: Destroy All Monsters Melee player Duncan Cooker was recently disappointed to realize that the “Melee”…

4 years ago

Boyfriend Down to Two Stocks After Being Knocked Off Bed

ALBANY, N.Y. — Local boyfriend Dennis McElris is reportedly down to just two stocks after being knocked off the bed…

5 years ago

Yoshi Becomes Proud Parent of Person They Just Ate

YOSHI’S ISLAND — Beloved dinosaur and Super Smash Bros. fighter Yoshi became the proud parent of Captain Falcon seconds after…

5 years ago

Parents Main Youngest Son

BRIGHAM CITY, Utah — Parents of seven and familial strategists Angela and Brent Fuller have been consistently maining their youngest…

5 years ago

Exhausted Sakurai Announces Mario Coming to Smash Bros

TOKYO — Nintendo fans were left scratching their heads this morning following a surprise livestream where visibly exhausted Super Smash…

5 years ago

Super Smash Bros.-Inspired Microsoft Fighting Game Features Two-Character Roster

REDMOND, Wash. — Microsoft has revealed a new fighting game inspired by Nintendo’s successful Super Smash Bros. franchise, which will…

6 years ago