March 22, 2021 Organizers of Martial Arts Tournament Didn’t Say Anything About a Fucking Bear Organizers of Martial Arts Tournament Didn’t Say Anything About a Fucking Bear TOKYO — A former MMA champion officially withdrew from an international martial arts competition yesterday after a brutal mauling from a Japanese brown bear. “I…
August 8, 2020 Identical Tournament Fighters Grateful They Wore Different Pants Identical Tournament Fighters Grateful They Wore Different Pants OUTWORLD — Two participants, who by all accounts appeared to be exact replicants of one another, were reportedly grateful to have brought different colored pants…
January 13, 2020 After Decades of Speculation, Scientists Prove Existence of ‘Street Fighter 1’ After Decades of Speculation, Scientists Prove Existence of ‘Street Fighter 1’ LOS ALAMOS, N.M. — Thom Mason, director of the Los Alamos National Laboratory, announced today they have finally unearthed definitive proof of the long-theorized Street…
June 14, 2019 Dhalsim Misses Fight Against Guile After Being Detained by TSA Again Dhalsim Misses Fight Against Guile After Being Detained by TSA Again DALLAS — The renowned World Warrior Tournament competitor from India known as Dhalsim missed an important bout against his American rival, Guile, after being yet…
November 11, 2018 Horrified Suburbanite Receives Invitation to Mortal Kombat by Accident Horrified Suburbanite Receives Invitation to Mortal Kombat by Accident EARTHREALM — Local divorcee Jon Edward Cage allegedly received an invitation to the infamous Mortal Kombat tournament held in the Outworld to determine who maintains…
October 11, 2018 Street Fight Tournament Not So Great for Fans Who Parked in Lot 4B Street Fight Tournament Not So Great for Fans Who Parked in Lot 4B BATTLE HARBOR — A fun-filled day of bare-knuckle street fighting turned disastrous for many spectators once combatants began destroying cars parked in Battle Harbor, sources…
December 10, 2017 Powerful: This DeviantArt User Re-Imagined Chun Li With a Huge, Three-Pronged Dick Powerful: This DeviantArt User Re-Imagined Chun Li With a Huge, Three-Pronged Dick Chun Li is one of gaming’s most iconic characters. Which is why seeing such a familiar World Warrior stripped naked at the waist, clutching her…
November 18, 2017 Street Fighter Character Not Enough of Racial Stereotype to Be in Next Street Fighter Game Street Fighter Character Not Enough of Racial Stereotype to Be in Next Street Fighter Game OSAKA, Japan — Capcom announced today that they will not be including the new character Valentina in an untitled Street Fighter game set to be…
August 26, 2017 New Boyfriend Clearly Just a Palette Swap of Old Boyfriend New Boyfriend Clearly Just a Palette Swap of Old Boyfriend TEMPE, Ariz. — ASU student Shelly Campbell has started dating local realtor Aaron Jackson two months after breaking up with longtime boyfriend Eric Johnson, who…
