November 25, 2018 George Lucas Pitches Crazy Rich Neimoidians to Horrified Disney Executives George Lucas Pitches Crazy Rich Neimoidians to Horrified Disney Executives BURBANK, Calif. — George Lucas reportedly crashed an executive meeting at Disney, where he feverishly proposed a film called Crazy Rich Neimoidians to horrified executives,…
July 4, 2018 We Interviewed Skateboarding Legend Darth Maul We Interviewed Skateboarding Legend Darth Maul At the dawn of the millennium, Sith Lord Darth Maul made a name for himself as one of the most innovative and original skateboarders of…
June 29, 2018 Boba Fett Movie Rumored to be 90 Minutes of Climbing Out of Sarlacc Pit in Real Time Boba Fett Movie Rumored to be 90 Minutes of Climbing Out of Sarlacc Pit in Real Time LOS ANGELES — Although Disney has confirmed that the Boba Fett standalone film will be delayed, rumors are circulating that the reasoning is due to…
June 7, 2018 Star Wars Fan Restores Balance to the Force by Only Harassing White Male Cast Members Star Wars Fan Restores Balance to the Force by Only Harassing White Male Cast Members SEATTLE — Self-described male feminist Stephen Brassinger brought balance to a social media galaxy far far away by deciding to only harass the white male…
April 5, 2018 Mainstream Acceptance of Nerd Culture Leaves Thousands of Gatekeepers Unemployed Mainstream Acceptance of Nerd Culture Leaves Thousands of Gatekeepers Unemployed LOS ANGELES — Recent labor statistics show the number of gatekeeper positions available in the United States dropped 30% between 2016 and 2017, and is…
February 15, 2018 Here’s All 290 Star Wars Movies Officially in Production Right Now Here’s All 290 Star Wars Movies Officially in Production Right Now If you are having trouble following all of the Star Wars movies coming out, no one can blame you… there’s so damn many! Here’s a…
December 23, 2017 EA Apologizes to Battlefront Fans With Free “Star Wars Holiday Special” DLC EA Apologizes to Battlefront Fans With Free “Star Wars Holiday Special” DLC REDWOOD CITY, Calif. — EA has surprised Battlefront II players with a bundle of free content inspired by the infamous Star Wars Holiday Special, after…
December 14, 2017 Pre-Order “The Last Jedi” Tickets to Unlock Luke Skywalker in the Film for Free Pre-Order “The Last Jedi” Tickets to Unlock Luke Skywalker in the Film for Free LOS ANGELES — Disney announced today that all Star Wars: The Last Jedi ticket pre-orders will automatically unlock Luke Skywalker in the film for free.…
November 21, 2017 Star Wars Themed Wedding Not Following Canon Star Wars Themed Wedding Not Following Canon SCARSDALE, N.Y. — Guests in attendance at Dan and Beth Miller’s Star Wars themed wedding were outraged to find it did not follow universally recognized…
