speedrun

Porn Parody ‘Girls Done Quick’ Not Particularly Popular

LOS ANGELES — Girls Done Quick, a new livestreamed porn parody of the hit video game convention Games Done Quick…

4 years ago

Speedrunner Doesn’t Believe Girlfriend’s Tool-Assisted Orgasm Valid

SACRAMENTO — Video game speedrunner Ashton Clemens insisted that a significant portion of his girlfriend’s orgasms were completed incorrectly, arguing…

4 years ago

Ocasio-Cortez Given Speedrun Slot at DNC

MILWAUKEE — The Democratic National Committee has granted Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez a “speedrun” slot at tonight’s convention to show off…

4 years ago

Video Game Speedrunner Changes Boyfriend’s Language to Japanese to Get Through Argument Quicker

TAMPA, Fla. — Local video game speedrunner Lulu Gardner reportedly changed her boyfriend’s language to Japanese in order to get…

5 years ago

Hand-Washing Speedruns Condemned by World Health Organization

ATWATER, Ohio — Following a recent days-long conference focused on the COVID-19 outbreak held in Helsinki, Denmark, members of the…

5 years ago

Unhinged Maniac Rigs NES to Explode If SMB3 Speedrunner Lets Mario Drop Below P-Speed

ORLANDO, Fla. — Sending waves of terror rippling throughout the streamer’s Twitch chat, an unhinged maniac rigged an NES to…

5 years ago

Useless Toddler Misses ‘Putt-Putt Saves the Zoo’ Speedrun Record by 7 Months, 23 Days

PROVIDENCE, R.I. — Disgraced gamer Jake Marglous, 2, wrapped up his latest non-TAS speedrun of Putt-Putt Saves the Zoo earlier…

5 years ago

Lonely Man Speedruns Calzone

BROOKLYN, N.Y. —  Displaying remarkable skill and reflexes, Brett Echelson livestreamed a complete speedrun of a calzone from his neighborhood…

6 years ago

Speedrun Streamer Sets New Record Time Explaining What That Means to Grandpa During Christmas Dinner

BONNER SPRINGS, Kan. – After an innocuous attempt at small talk by his grandfather Frank, speedrunning Twitch streamer Grady Millward…

7 years ago