December 13, 2019 5 Easter Eggs in the New Sonic Trailer to Keep Your Mind Off of the Entire Animation Studio Being Abruptly Fired 5 Easter Eggs in the New Sonic Trailer to Keep Your Mind Off of the Entire Animation Studio Being Abruptly Fired After months of anticipation, the new trailer for the Sonic the Hedgehog movie is here, and it doesn’t disappoint. Long time fans of the series…
November 12, 2019 Sonic Fans Now Drunk With Power Demand Big The Cat Be Added to the Film Sonic Fans Now Drunk With Power Demand Big The Cat Be Added to the Film LOS ANGELES — Following a successful campaign to get the titular character of the upcoming Sonic the Hedgehog film redesigned, Sonic fans have gone mad…
May 8, 2019 Doctor Informs Knuckles That Those Are Actually Tumors on His Hands Doctor Informs Knuckles That Those Are Actually Tumors on His Hands STATION SQUARE — In a somber twist to an otherwise routine checkup, a doctor on call at Station Square Medical Center regretfully informed Knuckles the…
May 4, 2019 Paramount Buries Sonic Controversy With Brilliant New Kirby Design Paramount Buries Sonic Controversy With Brilliant New Kirby Design LOS ANGELES — In a PR blitz designed to negate the backlash to their Sonic the Hedgehog live-action design, Paramount executives scrambled to appease fans…
May 3, 2019 Sonic Team Insulted Movie Director Would Do Something So Pathetic as Respond to Fan Feedback Sonic Team Insulted Movie Director Would Do Something So Pathetic as Respond to Fan Feedback TOKYO — In a press conference this morning tinged with disgust and shock, Sega’s Sonic Team told reporters that they were totally insulted that the…
April 15, 2019 SonicFox Challenged by Edgier, Brooding Rival ShadowWolf SonicFox Challenged by Edgier, Brooding Rival ShadowWolf LOS ANGELES — In a surprise moment during the winner’s bracket semi-finals of a regional Dragon Ball FighterZ tournament between Dominique “SonicFox” McLean and another player,…
March 27, 2019 Circus Level Inexplicably Pulling Double Duty as Water Level Circus Level Inexplicably Pulling Double Duty as Water Level PHOENIX — Local resident Shauna Johnson was playing the newest hit indie platformer when she made a shocking discovery: a level she had understood as…
March 6, 2019 Furry Community Distances Self From Sonic the Hedgehog Furry Community Distances Self From Sonic the Hedgehog RUMIA, Poland — At the ninth annual Gdakon Con, furries came from all over the world to fuck each other while dressed as animals and…
March 4, 2019 Disturbing Poll Shows Majority of Population Still Unaware of Wordplay in “Miles Prower” Disturbing Poll Shows Majority of Population Still Unaware of Wordplay in “Miles Prower” WASHINGTON — A disturbing poll from Gallup about the Sonic franchise revealed that, across all demographics, most people do not know that the name Miles…
