June 24, 2021 Man Explains Unnoticed Absence From Social Media Man Explains Unnoticed Absence From Social Media DETROIT — Social media user Jerry Clay has reportedly taken to Facebook to explain his online hiatus that none of their followers were aware had…
April 16, 2021 U.S. Government Reaches Agreement With Wario64 to Announce COVID Vaccine Availability U.S. Government Reaches Agreement With Wario64 to Announce COVID Vaccine Availability WASHINGTON — The United States Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has reached an agreement with popular video game deals twitter account Wario64 to announce…
February 18, 2021 Guy Who Summarizes Pay-Walled Articles in the Comments Nominated for Pulitzer Prize Guy Who Summarizes Pay-Walled Articles in the Comments Nominated for Pulitzer Prize NEW YORK — The Pulitzer Prize Board announced nominations for the 2020 Pulitzer Prize in Public Service, including a surprise nomination for Reddit user johnnyjon66,…
January 27, 2021 Local Crackpot Believes His Tweets are Good Enough to Be Suppressed by the Algorithm Local Crackpot Believes His Tweets are Good Enough to Be Suppressed by the Algorithm DICKSON, Tenn. — Twitter user Lenny Vickerman, a 43-year-old who frequently posts unintelligible rants on social media, suspects that the sole reason his tweets aren’t…
November 9, 2020 Twitter User Cancels 20 Others Before Turning the Cancel on Himself Twitter User Cancels 20 Others Before Turning the Cancel on Himself LOS ANGELES — Local Twitter user Frederick Peterson, better known by his handle @freddiepeteyboy682, went on a tragic cancel spree early this morning, before turning…
October 6, 2020 REPORT: Nobody in Group Chat Touching That One REPORT: Nobody in Group Chat Touching That One NEW YORK — Members of a local group chat insisted that they wouldn’t be going anywhere near that comment, preferring to let things die down…
September 29, 2020 New Facebook Tab Switches to Classic Mode If Clicked, But Somebody You Don’t Know Will Die New Facebook Tab Switches to Classic Mode If Clicked, But Somebody You Don’t Know Will Die SAN FRANCISCO — Facebook has debuted a new feature that allows users to revert their profiles to Facebook Classic for 48 hours by clicking a…
September 15, 2020 Vengeful God Moves On to Next Thing Tumblr Holds Dear Vengeful God Moves On to Next Thing Tumblr Holds Dear HIGHER REALM — Overcome with wrath and scorn, the ruler of the universe has reportedly taken the next step toward utterly destroying everything Tumblr loves.…
July 27, 2020 Ad Making Offensive Insinuation About What You Want to Do in This Game Ad Making Offensive Insinuation About What You Want to Do in This Game ATLANTA — According to several users of file downloading services and illegal streaming sites, an advertisement featuring a buxom CGI woman with the caption “You’re…
