smash bros

DNC Struggling to Pick Main

WASHINGTON — The Democratic National Committee is reportedly struggling to decide on a main ahead of the 2020 election now…

6 years ago

Smash Bros Character Blames Low-Tier Player For Loss

BATTLEFIELD — After a heartbreaking loss, an orange Inkling girl reportedly spiked her Splattershot to the ground and stormed offstage…

6 years ago

ZeRo Tells Fiancée He’d Rather Just Stream Their Wedding Than Attend

ORLANDO, Fla. — Professional Super Smash Bros. player Gonzalo “ZeRo” Barrios reportedly told his fiancée Vanessa late last night that…

6 years ago

Release of Smash Bros. Ultimate Marks Most Eventful December 7th in History

HONOLULU, Hawaii — Super Smash Bros. Ultimate for the Nintendo Switch was released today, the latest installment in the long-running…

6 years ago

Guy Who Doesn’t Have $60 Right Now Somehow Manages to Buy Switch, Smash Bros, Two Pro Controllers, and Ethernet Adapter

TUCSON, Ariz. — Local gamer Pierce Roderick has reportedly gathered enough capital to purchase all of the necessary equipment for…

6 years ago

Super Smash Bros. Ultimate to Be Delayed One Month Due to George H.W. Bush Funeral

KYOTO, Japan — To honor the death of former U.S. President George H.W. Bush, Nintendo has announced that Super Smash…

6 years ago

Purist Surgeon Refuses to Operate Surgery Robot With Anything but GameCube Controller

BOSTON — Explaining that newer controllers don’t quite provide the same comfort or familiarity, surgeon Dr. Frank Powell said this…

6 years ago

Our Interview with Red Pikmin Who Escaped Captain Olimar’s Sex Cult

For years, Captain Olimar has been seen as a beloved hero by the people of Hocotate for his ability to…

7 years ago