smash bros

Couple Planning Wedding Forced to Make Tier List of FriendsCouple Planning Wedding Forced to Make Tier List of Friends

Couple Planning Wedding Forced to Make Tier List of Friends

RALEIGH, N.C. — Local engaged couple Elaiza Tan and Kate Figueroa were frustrated having to sort all of their friends…

4 years ago
Couple Tearfully Agrees It’s Time to Main Other PeopleCouple Tearfully Agrees It’s Time to Main Other People

Couple Tearfully Agrees It’s Time to Main Other People

ROCKVILLE CENTRE, N.Y. — After several years of mastering each others’ subtle quirks, local couple Arjun Irukulapati and Ellen Cervantes…

4 years ago
Embarrassed Ridley Assures Smash Player He’s Much Bigger CanonicallyEmbarrassed Ridley Assures Smash Player He’s Much Bigger Canonically

Embarrassed Ridley Assures Smash Player He’s Much Bigger Canonically

SCHENECTADY, N.Y. — Dragon-like space pirate and Super Smash Bros. Ultimate fighter Ridley assured a teary-eyed man controlling his moves…

4 years ago
Man Who Spent 270 Hours Playing Xenoblade Series Relieved it Meant SomethingMan Who Spent 270 Hours Playing Xenoblade Series Relieved it Meant Something

Man Who Spent 270 Hours Playing Xenoblade Series Relieved it Meant Something

WANTAGH, N.Y. — Local gamer Lawrence Olson has reportedly breathed a sigh of relief following the announcement that the next…

4 years ago
Archaeologists Uncover First Recorded Tier List in Ancient RomeArchaeologists Uncover First Recorded Tier List in Ancient Rome

Archaeologists Uncover First Recorded Tier List in Ancient Rome

ROME — After reconstructing an ancient piece of pottery featuring various Roman gladiators categorized by their perceived strength, ability, and…

4 years ago
Geneticists Raise Ethical Questions After Successfully Creating Echo Fighter of SheepGeneticists Raise Ethical Questions After Successfully Creating Echo Fighter of Sheep

Geneticists Raise Ethical Questions After Successfully Creating Echo Fighter of Sheep

EDINBURGH, Scotland — In a huge scientific breakthrough that also raises many ethical questions, geneticists at the University of Edinburgh’s…

5 years ago
Diddy Kong Accused of Using System of Barrels to Skip First Two Years of CollegeDiddy Kong Accused of Using System of Barrels to Skip First Two Years of College

Diddy Kong Accused of Using System of Barrels to Skip First Two Years of College

EAST LANSING, Mich. — Diddy Kong is the latest celebrity to stand accused of using his celebrity status to bypass…

5 years ago
Disgraced ‘Smash Bros.’ Player Announces Hiatus, Plans to Main Self for a Little WhileDisgraced ‘Smash Bros.’ Player Announces Hiatus, Plans to Main Self for a Little While

Disgraced ‘Smash Bros.’ Player Announces Hiatus, Plans to Main Self for Little While

SEATTLE — Tyler Wendell, the latest pro Super Smash Bros. player accused of sexual misconduct, has announced that he will…

5 years ago
Fuck It: Gamers CanceledFuck It: Gamers Canceled

Fuck It: Gamers Canceled

WORLDWIDE — The Super Smash Bros. community is in shock today after dozens of people came forward with sexual assault…

5 years ago