November 7, 2017 Guard With Four Arrows in Torso Starting to Think Intruder Nearby Guard With Four Arrows in Torso Starting to Think Intruder Nearby WHITERUN, Skyr. — Night Watchman Thorbjorg Halmsteim told reporters he began to suspect a trespasser might be afoot today, after he felt a fourth arrow…
October 16, 2017 Dad Reviews Skyrim: “How do I move?” Dad Reviews Skyrim: “How do I move?” Hundreds of hours of dangerous adventure, amazing discovery, and enchanting exploration. I just wish I could have seen that instead of the ground the entire…
September 27, 2017 Inspiring: This Mentally Impaired Blacksmith Continues to Hold Down His Job Despite Repeating Himself Every Five Seconds Inspiring: This Mentally Impaired Blacksmith Continues to Hold Down His Job Despite Repeating Himself Every Five Seconds Staring blankly into the corner of his open-air bazaar-style smithing shack, a man known only as “Smitty” to travelers and locals alike tends to his…
September 21, 2017 College Student’s Fast Travel Ability Unlocked by Bottle of Tequila College Student’s Fast Travel Ability Unlocked by Bottle of Tequila GAINESVILLE, Fla. — UF sophomore Michelle Stevens claims to have fast traveled to her dorm room after downing a bottle of “Se Tiene Especial” Tequila,…
August 23, 2017 Main Character Reassures Final Boss Those Side Quests Meant Nothing to Him Main Character Reassures Final Boss Those Side Quests Meant Nothing to Him WIDOWBRIAR — Video game protagonist Danaes has reportedly assured final boss the Hollowsplicer, Scourge of Xissan, that the many side quests he completed before their epic…
August 17, 2017 Video Game Player with Infinite Possibilities Creates Character That Looks Like Self Video Game Player with Infinite Possibilities Creates Character That Looks Like Self TUCSON, Ariz. — Avid gamer Mark Spears utilized a video game character creation tool with millions of possibilities, including hundreds of different fantasy species, to…
June 15, 2017 Remainder of Bethesda’s E3 Conference Available Next Week for $4.99 Remainder of Bethesda’s E3 Conference Available Next Week for $4.99 LOS ANGELES — Gaming giant Bethesda announced today that fans will be able to download the rest of their E3 presentation next week for a…
