May 13, 2019 Man Successfully Climbs Mount Everest After Months of Jumping Up Side of It Man Successfully Climbs Mount Everest After Months of Jumping Up Side of It KATHMANDU, Nepal — World-renowned adventurer Jorn Aldis successfully scaled Mount Everest yesterday following a rigorous multi-month climb that saw him slowly jump up the side…
May 3, 2019 Guy Who Swears He’s Playing Skyrim VR Needs to Take His Dick Out for Some Reason Guy Who Swears He’s Playing Skyrim VR Needs to Take His Dick Out for Some Reason BOSTON — Boston College sophomore Daniel Milner recently purchased a PlayStation VR gaming headset and what he claimed was a copy of Skyrim VR, a…
November 24, 2018 Final Fantasy 7 Coming to Skyrim Final Fantasy 7 Coming to Skyrim Bethesda announced today that 1997’s legendary roleplaying title Final Fantasy 7 will be available inside of all versions of The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, effective…
September 13, 2018 Hero Foretold by Ancient Prophecy Prefers Fishing Hero Foretold by Ancient Prophecy Prefers Fishing TAMRIEL — A local hero, who many citizens of Tamriel are counting on to save their land from impending doom, has instead taken up an…
September 11, 2018 Skyrim Woman Calls Police on Khajiit Bake Sale Skyrim Woman Calls Police on Khajiit Bake Sale WHITERUN — Local guards were called to the scene of an alleged disturbance in the town of Whiterun, only to find a bake sale being…
July 18, 2018 Mount Everest is Littered With Dead Skyrim Horses Mount Everest is Littered With Dead Skyrim Horses NEPAL — The Elder Scrolls fan site FansRoDah.net shocked the climbing world today when it reported there are hundreds of dead Skyrim horses and adventurers…
February 1, 2018 Gamer Exploring Beautiful, Detailed Open World Can’t Wait to Unlock Fast Travel Gamer Exploring Beautiful, Detailed Open World Can’t Wait to Unlock Fast Travel KENOSHA, Wis. — Local gamer Kelly Redmond expressed frustration at the lack of a fast travel option shortly after beginning exploration-focused open world game “Horizon:…
January 5, 2018 Laid Off Bethesda Employee Cleans 70 Cheese Wheels Out of Desk Laid Off Bethesda Employee Cleans 70 Cheese Wheels Out of Desk ROCKVILLE, Md. — After being fired, Bethesda animator Jeff Callahan was seen packing a confusingly extensive assortment of useless objects into a bankers box as…
November 17, 2017 Bethesda Employee Dead After Attempting to Port Skyrim Onto Own Body Bethesda Employee Dead After Attempting to Port Skyrim Onto Own Body ROCKVILLE, Md. — Bethesda Softworks employee Herbert Naples died today after attempting to transfer Skyrim, a popular fantasy video game, onto his body, according to…
