samus

‘Metroid’ Remaster Forces Players to Play as Male Samus Unless They Purchase $25 Female Samus Amiibo

KYOTO, Japan — Nintendo announced a surprise HD remaster of the original Metroid today in which you have to play…

4 years ago

Embarrassed Ridley Assures Smash Player He’s Much Bigger Canonically

SCHENECTADY, N.Y. — Dragon-like space pirate and Super Smash Bros. Ultimate fighter Ridley assured a teary-eyed man controlling his moves…

4 years ago

Samus Can’t Wait to Show Double Jump Off At High School Reunion

DULUTH, Minn. — A recent invitation to her 20 year high school reunion has Samus Aran, graduate of Howard Olson…

5 years ago

Kensuke Tanabe Backtracking Through Nintendo Offices to Find Key That Lets Him Continue Metroid Prime 4 Development

KYOTO, Japan — The development of Metroid Prime 4 has reportedly stalled after series producer Kensuke Tanabe discovered he was…

6 years ago

Nintendo Announces Metroid Prime 4 Teaser Trailer Release Date Reveal Date

KYOTO, Japan — Nintendo has announced that early next year they will reveal the date for the Metroid Prime 4…

6 years ago

Trailblazing Indie Studio Draws No Influence From Metroid

LOS ANGELES — Upstart developers Tenth Wonder Games have turned a lot of heads with their debut independent release, a…

7 years ago