September 27, 2017 Inspiring: This Mentally Impaired Blacksmith Continues to Hold Down His Job Despite Repeating Himself Every Five Seconds Inspiring: This Mentally Impaired Blacksmith Continues to Hold Down His Job Despite Repeating Himself Every Five Seconds Staring blankly into the corner of his open-air bazaar-style smithing shack, a man known only as “Smitty” to travelers and locals alike tends to his…
September 21, 2017 College Student’s Fast Travel Ability Unlocked by Bottle of Tequila College Student’s Fast Travel Ability Unlocked by Bottle of Tequila GAINESVILLE, Fla. — UF sophomore Michelle Stevens claims to have fast traveled to her dorm room after downing a bottle of “Se Tiene Especial” Tequila,…
September 20, 2017 Group Finally Schedules Conversation about How Much Fun It Would Be to Play D&D Some Time Group Finally Schedules Conversation about How Much Fun It Would Be to Play D&D Some Time BINGHAMTON, N.Y. — Zack Borman and a few of his friends were able to set aside a few hours, after months of scheduling conflicts and…
September 8, 2017 Boyfriend Was Hoping for a Different Kind of Role-Playing Boyfriend Was Hoping for a Different Kind of Role-Playing ST. JOSEPH, Mich. — Brian Freemont was dismayed Thursday evening after being promised a night of wild role-playing by his girlfriend Abbie Case only to…
August 23, 2017 Main Character Reassures Final Boss Those Side Quests Meant Nothing to Him Main Character Reassures Final Boss Those Side Quests Meant Nothing to Him WIDOWBRIAR — Video game protagonist Danaes has reportedly assured final boss the Hollowsplicer, Scourge of Xissan, that the many side quests he completed before their epic…
August 17, 2017 Video Game Player with Infinite Possibilities Creates Character That Looks Like Self Video Game Player with Infinite Possibilities Creates Character That Looks Like Self TUCSON, Ariz. — Avid gamer Mark Spears utilized a video game character creation tool with millions of possibilities, including hundreds of different fantasy species, to…
August 3, 2017 Newborn Baby Has Terrible Stats Newborn Baby Has Terrible Stats VALLEY STREAM, N.Y. — Fred and Maria Owens were severely disappointed to discover their newborn baby has absolutely terrible stats after being delivered in a…
August 1, 2017 D&D Group Overthrows Dungeon Master in Favor of Dungeon Democracy D&D Group Overthrows Dungeon Master in Favor of Dungeon Democracy DECATUR, Ga. — A local Dungeons & Dragons collective has ousted their overreaching despot today, in what is being reported as a populist coup. In…
July 3, 2017 Dungeons and Dragons Player Crafts Elaborate Fantasy World Where Parents Respect Him Dungeons and Dragons Player Crafts Elaborate Fantasy World Where Parents Respect Him PITTSBURGH — Local Dungeon Master Tyler Ferrell, being free to imagine worlds wherein literally anything is possible, has designed a fantasy realm that features his…
