retro

Retrospective: We Look Back at ‘Super Mario 1D World’Retrospective: We Look Back at ‘Super Mario 1D World’

Retrospective: We Look Back at ‘Super Mario 1D World’

With the recent releases of Super Mario 3D All-Stars and Super Mario 3D World, gamers are reflecting on the long…

4 years ago
Inconsiderate Friend Doesn’t Spoiler Tag That Princess Peach Isn’t Actually in CastleInconsiderate Friend Doesn’t Spoiler Tag That Princess Peach Isn’t Actually in Castle

Inconsiderate Friend Doesn’t Spoiler Tag That Princess Peach Isn’t Actually in Castle

SPOKANE, Wash. — Discord user Michael McNeil drew the ire of a Mario fan server after failing to use spoiler…

4 years ago
Man With Space Invaders Tattoo Can’t Even Name One CharacterMan With Space Invaders Tattoo Can’t Even Name One Character

Man With Space Invaders Tattoo Can’t Even Name One Character

ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — A man with a tattoo depicting an enemy from the influential shoot ‘em up game Space Invaders…

5 years ago
Grandma Playing Super Mario 64 Can’t Get Past Part Where You Endlessly Pull Mario’s Cute Little CheeksGrandma Playing Super Mario 64 Can’t Get Past Part Where You Endlessly Pull Mario’s Cute Little Cheeks

Grandma Playing Super Mario 64 Can’t Get Past Part Where You Endlessly Pull Mario’s Cute Little Cheeks

PEEKSKILL, N.Y. — Local grandma Meredith Blum has been stuck for two days on the opening screen of Super Mario…

5 years ago
Steve Bannon Arrested for Gobbling Up Skiers at Bottom of HillSteve Bannon Arrested for Gobbling Up Skiers at Bottom of Hill

Steve Bannon Arrested for Gobbling Up Skiers at Bottom of Hill

WASHINGTON — Former Donald Trump advisor Steve Bannon was arrested yesterday on charges of reportedly devouring skiers at the bottom…

5 years ago
Proto Man Reveals That, While Arm Cannon Nice, He Would Give Anything to Have Left Hand BackProto Man Reveals That, While Arm Cannon Nice, He Would Give Anything to Have Left Hand Back

Proto Man Reveals That, While Arm Cannon Nice, He Would Give Anything to Have Left Hand Back

DR. LIGHT’S LAB — Saying he feels blessed at the technology yet wistful for his bygone appendage, local robot hero…

5 years ago
Green Koopa Sneakily Paints Shell Red So He Doesn’t Have to March to His DeathGreen Koopa Sneakily Paints Shell Red So He Doesn’t Have to March to His Death

Green Koopa Sneakily Paints Shell Red So He Doesn’t Have to March to His Death

MUSHROOM KINGDOM — In an attempt to save himself from certain death by walking directly off a platform, a local…

5 years ago
Larger Thug Feels Pressure to Take On Leadership PositionLarger Thug Feels Pressure to Take On Leadership Position

Larger Thug Feels Pressure to Take On Leadership Position

RIVER CITY— Local gangster Antonio Russo continues to work a low level thug position despite pressures from higher ranking goons…

5 years ago
Man Dead After Being Shot in Ankle Nine TimesMan Dead After Being Shot in Ankle Nine Times

Man Dead After Being Shot in Ankle Nine Times

THE CITY — A hired goon taking cover behind a crate made a fatal error and left his ankle exposed,…

5 years ago