religion

Day Two Recap: God Creates Clouds and OceanDay Two Recap: God Creates Clouds and Ocean

Day Two Recap: God Creates Clouds and Ocean

LOS ANGELES — Sunday morning kicked off Day Two of E3 with conferences from Microsoft, Square Enix, and Our Lord…

4 years ago
Twitch Bans All Mentions of Virgin Mary and Incel JosephTwitch Bans All Mentions of Virgin Mary and Incel Joseph

Twitch Bans All Mentions of Virgin Mary and Incel Joseph

SAN FRANCISCO — Just before Christmas, video streaming platform Twitch has banned users from making any mention of the Virgin…

4 years ago
God Laughs as Man Puts “Final” in Exported File NameGod Laughs as Man Puts “Final” in Exported File Name

God Laughs as Man Puts “Final” in Exported File Name

HEAVEN — Our Heavenly Father was overwhelmed with laughter after watching Illinois native Bobby Kenworth use the word “final” in…

4 years ago
God Uses McRib to Create Female Companion for Ronald McDonaldGod Uses McRib to Create Female Companion for Ronald McDonald

God Uses McRib to Create Female Companion for Ronald McDonald

WALLA WALLA, Wash. — Patrons at a local McDonalds restaurant were caught off guard earlier this week as God, alleged…

4 years ago
Lifelong Devil’s Advocate Promoted to Devil’s Communications DirectorLifelong Devil’s Advocate Promoted to Devil’s Communications Director

Lifelong Devil’s Advocate Promoted to Devil’s Communications Director

WASHINGTON — Griffin Miller, a career contrarian and lifelong advocate of The Devil, has been tapped as Communications Director for…

5 years ago
Gamer Goes on Mission Trip to Tell Impoverished Communities ‘The Last of Us’ Is OverratedGamer Goes on Mission Trip to Tell Impoverished Communities ‘The Last of Us’ Is Overrated

Gamer Goes on Mission Trip to Tell Impoverished Communities ‘The Last of Us’ Is Overrated

UGANDA — A devout gamer has voyaged to a third world country on a missionary trip to inform the poor…

5 years ago
Christian Speedrunning Community Argues Any% Begins at the Loading ScreenChristian Speedrunning Community Argues Any% Begins at the Loading Screen

Christian Speedrunning Community Argues Any% Begins at the Loading Screen

BOSTON — Christian speedrunning group ReveRuns posted a declaration today, titled “Life Begins at Loading,” which makes an impassioned plea…

5 years ago
And When There Was Only One Set of Kills in Duos, That Was When I Carried YouAnd When There Was Only One Set of Kills in Duos, That Was When I Carried You

And When There Was Only One Set of Kills in Duos, That Was When I Carried You

One night I dreamed a team. As I was walking along the storage town with my Lord, Across the dark…

5 years ago
God Admits It’s Kinda Gay to Create DudesGod Admits It’s Kinda Gay to Create Dudes

God Admits It’s Kinda Gay to Create Dudes

HEAVEN — The almighty being who created the heavens and earth, God, admitted today that it’s actually kinda gay to…

5 years ago