religion

Day Two Recap: God Creates Clouds and Ocean

LOS ANGELES — Sunday morning kicked off Day Two of E3 with conferences from Microsoft, Square Enix, and Our Lord…

3 years ago

Twitch Bans All Mentions of Virgin Mary and Incel Joseph

SAN FRANCISCO — Just before Christmas, video streaming platform Twitch has banned users from making any mention of the Virgin…

4 years ago

God Laughs as Man Puts “Final” in Exported File Name

HEAVEN — Our Heavenly Father was overwhelmed with laughter after watching Illinois native Bobby Kenworth use the word “final” in…

4 years ago

God Uses McRib to Create Female Companion for Ronald McDonald

WALLA WALLA, Wash. — Patrons at a local McDonalds restaurant were caught off guard earlier this week as God, alleged…

4 years ago

Lifelong Devil’s Advocate Promoted to Devil’s Communications Director

WASHINGTON — Griffin Miller, a career contrarian and lifelong advocate of The Devil, has been tapped as Communications Director for…

4 years ago

Gamer Goes on Mission Trip to Tell Impoverished Communities ‘The Last of Us’ Is Overrated

UGANDA — A devout gamer has voyaged to a third world country on a missionary trip to inform the poor…

4 years ago

Christian Speedrunning Community Argues Any% Begins at the Loading Screen

BOSTON — Christian speedrunning group ReveRuns posted a declaration today, titled “Life Begins at Loading,” which makes an impassioned plea…

5 years ago

And When There Was Only One Set of Kills in Duos, That Was When I Carried You

One night I dreamed a team. As I was walking along the storage town with my Lord, Across the dark…

5 years ago

God Admits It’s Kinda Gay to Create Dudes

HEAVEN — The almighty being who created the heavens and earth, God, admitted today that it’s actually kinda gay to…

5 years ago