May 21, 2021 Stitcher Rebrands as Dating App for Parasocial Relationships Stitcher Rebrands as Dating App for Parasocial Relationships NEW YORK — Popular podcast app Stitcher announced today that they are rebranding as a dating app, specifically for parasocial relationships. “Simply put, creators are…
December 7, 2020 Tinder User’s Favorite Hobbies Mostly Just Vital Bodily Functions Tinder User’s Favorite Hobbies Mostly Just Vital Bodily Functions BOCA RATON, Fla. — Debuting his brand-new dating profile, local Tinder user David Bloom, 29, advertised his long-held passions for eating food, breathing fresh air,…
November 22, 2020 Man Worried He’ll Never Find Open World Game as Good as Her Man Worried He’ll Never Find Open World Game as Good as Her ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Local gamer Joe Fleming is reportedly worried that Nintendo’s stunning masterpiece Breath of the Wild has ruined any chance that he’ll ever…
October 28, 2020 Boyfriend Takes -7 Environmental Damage Per Second on Mission to Grocery Store Boyfriend Takes -7 Environmental Damage Per Second on Mission to Grocery Store OXFORD, Ohio — In a journey that exposed one of his most glaring character vulnerabilities, local boyfriend Zach McInnes suffered -7 environmental damage per second…
October 11, 2020 Speedrunner Doesn’t Believe Girlfriend’s Tool-Assisted Orgasm Valid Speedrunner Doesn’t Believe Girlfriend’s Tool-Assisted Orgasm Valid SACRAMENTO — Video game speedrunner Ashton Clemens insisted that a significant portion of his girlfriend’s orgasms were completed incorrectly, arguing that manual orgasms with non-modified…
August 30, 2020 Dungeon Master Sneaks a Few Real Dice in With Those Sex Ones Dungeon Master Sneaks a Few Real Dice in With Those Sex Ones PITTSBURGH — A recent attempt at invigorating the intimacy of Dana Boyer’s relationship with an avid role-playing fanatic ended horribly after her husband Stephen Barker…
August 18, 2020 Fed Up Boyfriend Downloading Overcooked Knows Exactly What He’s Doing Fed Up Boyfriend Downloading Overcooked Knows Exactly What He’s Doing CHICAGO — 27-year-old Jimmy Pryor downloaded the popular party game Overcooked 2 onto his Nintendo Switch which he shares with his girlfriend, Natalie Paige, with…
August 9, 2020 Divorcing Couple Agrees to Joint Custody of Raymond Divorcing Couple Agrees to Joint Custody of Raymond RIDGEWOOD, N.J. — After hours of mediation, divorcing couple David and Sophie Keller have finally found middle ground as they have agreed to share joint…
April 28, 2020 Current Relationship Covering Load Time for Next Relationship Current Relationship Covering Load Time for Next Relationship PLANO,Texas — Local man Daniel Masterson recently discovered that his current relationship with Alexa Freedman is just covering up the load time for his next…
