April 10, 2021 Couple Tearfully Agrees It’s Time to Main Other People Couple Tearfully Agrees It’s Time to Main Other People ROCKVILLE CENTRE, N.Y. — After several years of mastering each others’ subtle quirks, local couple Arjun Irukulapati and Ellen Cervantes have regretfully decided the time…
February 2, 2021 Steam Announces Oddly Specific ‘Games You and Molly Used to Play Before You Broke Up’ Sale Steam Announces Oddly Specific ‘Games You and Molly Used to Play Before You Broke Up’ Sale BELLEVUE, Wash. — Online video game retailer Steam has announced an eerily particular sale, seemingly curated exclusively around games you used to play with Molly…
November 25, 2020 Guide: How to Trick Your Boyfriend Into Thinking He’s Letting You Win Guide: How to Trick Your Boyfriend Into Thinking He’s Letting You Win Ever wanted to annihilate your boyfriend in video games without annihilating his fragile male ego? Well with these six simple tips, you’ll be racking up…
November 7, 2020 Loving Couple Looking to Adopt New TV Show Loving Couple Looking to Adopt New TV Show ANCHORAGE, Ala. — Local couple Alice and Mark Holland are reportedly looking to adopt a new television, bringing it into a home filled with love,…
September 19, 2020 YouTube Movie Critic Fails to Suspend Disbelief After Girlfriend Breaks Up With Him YouTube Movie Critic Fails to Suspend Disbelief After Girlfriend Breaks Up With Him NORFOLK, Va. — Local YouTube movie critic Danny Levy could not suspend his disbelief after his girlfriend, Jessica Myers, broke up with him after three…
May 25, 2020 Boyfriend Apologizes for Load Time Boyfriend Apologizes for Load Time SYRACUSE, N.Y. — Recent sexual partner Nathan Stenhouse has released an apology for his unacceptably short load time during last night’s love making session with…
May 1, 2020 Video Game Speedrunner Changes Boyfriend’s Language to Japanese to Get Through Argument Quicker Video Game Speedrunner Changes Boyfriend’s Language to Japanese to Get Through Argument Quicker TAMPA, Fla. — Local video game speedrunner Lulu Gardner reportedly changed her boyfriend’s language to Japanese in order to get through an argument with him…
March 10, 2020 Throwaway Reddit Account Does Nothing to Obscure User’s Identity Throwaway Reddit Account Does Nothing to Obscure User’s Identity MONTGOMERY, Ala. — Justin Curry’s post on Reddit’s r/relationship_advice under the username u/throwawaythekeys92 did absolutely nothing to hide his identity as a result of his…
February 21, 2020 Woman Not Excited to Discover Boyfriend Backwards-Compatible With His Exes Woman Not Excited to Discover Boyfriend Backwards-Compatible With His Exes AUSTIN, Texas — Local woman Misty Barnhart was reportedly displeased when she realized that her boyfriend Luis Pratt is backward-compatible with his exes, claiming that…
