quarantine

Silent Hill Now Allowing Abandoned Schools and Amusement Parks to ReopenSilent Hill Now Allowing Abandoned Schools and Amusement Parks to Reopen

Silent Hill Now Allowing Abandoned Schools and Amusement Parks to Reopen

SILENT HILL, Maine — The Silent Hill city council has decided that their numerous decaying schools and decrepit amusement parks…

4 years ago
America Unsure If Pandemic Is One of Those Scripted Fights You’re Supposed to LoseAmerica Unsure If Pandemic Is One of Those Scripted Fights You’re Supposed to Lose

America Unsure If Pandemic Is One of Those Scripted Fights You’re Supposed to Lose

WASHINGTON — As the infection rates and death counts throughout the nation continue to slowly creep upwards, citizens throughout the…

4 years ago
Podcaster Spends 2 Hours Setting Up Elaborate Audio Rig for Casual Family Zoom ChatPodcaster Spends 2 Hours Setting Up Elaborate Audio Rig for Casual Family Zoom Chat

Podcaster Spends 2 Hours Setting Up Elaborate Audio Rig for Casual Family Zoom Chat

AKRON, Ohio — Podcaster Briana Giraud spent a full two hours setting up and testing her $2,000 audio rig in…

4 years ago
Quarantined Clock Town Resident Can’t Remember If It’s Day 1 or Day 3Quarantined Clock Town Resident Can’t Remember If It’s Day 1 or Day 3

Quarantined Clock Town Resident Can’t Remember If It’s Day 1 or Day 3

CLOCK TOWN, Termina —  Clock Town resident and Stock Pot Inn owner Anju, 17, reported confusion today after struggling to…

5 years ago
Employees Returning to Work for First Time in Months Discover Office Overrun by WeedsEmployees Returning to Work for First Time in Months Discover Office Overrun by Weeds

Employees Returning to Work for First Time in Months Discover Office Overrun by Weeds

TAMPA, Fla. — Employees returning to the local offices of Seabass Accounting & Tax Services this week were reportedly shocked…

5 years ago
Review: Battletoads Is Another Perfect Game for the Pandemic Like the Last 10 Games We’ve PlayedReview: Battletoads Is Another Perfect Game for the Pandemic Like the Last 10 Games We’ve Played

Review: Battletoads Is Another Perfect Game for the Pandemic Like the Last 10 Games We’ve Played

2020 has been a weird year, to say the least. With no end to the COVID-19 pandemic in sight, entertainment…

5 years ago
The Avengers Furlough HawkeyeThe Avengers Furlough Hawkeye

The Avengers Furlough Hawkeye

ESOPUS, N.Y.  — The Avengers announced today that they will be making furloughs in order to assist with the gradual…

5 years ago
Coronavirus Experiences Double-XP Weekend in Re-Opened StatesCoronavirus Experiences Double-XP Weekend in Re-Opened States

Coronavirus Experiences Double-XP Weekend in Re-Opened States

ATLANTA — Scientists at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention are confirming that, following several states’ pushes to reopen,…

5 years ago
Quarantined Ken Burns Finally Has Enough Time to Get Around to Watching Ken Burns’ ‘The Civil War’Quarantined Ken Burns Finally Has Enough Time to Get Around to Watching Ken Burns’ ‘The Civil War’

Quarantined Ken Burns Finally Has Enough Time to Get Around to Watching Ken Burns’ ‘The Civil War’

WALPOLE, N.H. — Finding himself with much more free time while social distancing, award-winning documentarian Ken Burns has finally found…

5 years ago