April 25, 2021 Silent Hill Now Allowing Abandoned Schools and Amusement Parks to Reopen Silent Hill Now Allowing Abandoned Schools and Amusement Parks to Reopen SILENT HILL, Maine — The Silent Hill city council has decided that their numerous decaying schools and decrepit amusement parks will be reopened to the…
March 9, 2021 America Unsure If Pandemic Is One of Those Scripted Fights You’re Supposed to Lose America Unsure If Pandemic Is One of Those Scripted Fights You’re Supposed to Lose WASHINGTON — As the infection rates and death counts throughout the nation continue to slowly creep upwards, citizens throughout the United States have begun to…
January 16, 2021 Podcaster Spends 2 Hours Setting Up Elaborate Audio Rig for Casual Family Zoom Chat Podcaster Spends 2 Hours Setting Up Elaborate Audio Rig for Casual Family Zoom Chat AKRON, Ohio — Podcaster Briana Giraud spent a full two hours setting up and testing her $2,000 audio rig in preparation for a casual Zoom…
September 19, 2020 Quarantined Clock Town Resident Can’t Remember If It’s Day 1 or Day 3 Quarantined Clock Town Resident Can’t Remember If It’s Day 1 or Day 3 CLOCK TOWN, Termina — Clock Town resident and Stock Pot Inn owner Anju, 17, reported confusion today after struggling to remember what day it was…
September 7, 2020 Employees Returning to Work for First Time in Months Discover Office Overrun by Weeds Employees Returning to Work for First Time in Months Discover Office Overrun by Weeds TAMPA, Fla. — Employees returning to the local offices of Seabass Accounting & Tax Services this week were reportedly shocked to discover their cubicles overrun…
August 21, 2020 Review: Battletoads Is Another Perfect Game for the Pandemic Like the Last 10 Games We’ve Played Review: Battletoads Is Another Perfect Game for the Pandemic Like the Last 10 Games We’ve Played 2020 has been a weird year, to say the least. With no end to the COVID-19 pandemic in sight, entertainment has become more important than…
June 22, 2020 The Avengers Furlough Hawkeye The Avengers Furlough Hawkeye ESOPUS, N.Y. — The Avengers announced today that they will be making furloughs in order to assist with the gradual reopening of the Avengers Initiative,…
May 22, 2020 Coronavirus Experiences Double-XP Weekend in Re-Opened States Coronavirus Experiences Double-XP Weekend in Re-Opened States ATLANTA — Scientists at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention are confirming that, following several states’ pushes to reopen, the coronavirus has experienced a…
May 22, 2020 Quarantined Ken Burns Finally Has Enough Time to Get Around to Watching Ken Burns’ ‘The Civil War’ Quarantined Ken Burns Finally Has Enough Time to Get Around to Watching Ken Burns’ ‘The Civil War’ WALPOLE, N.H. — Finding himself with much more free time while social distancing, award-winning documentarian Ken Burns has finally found enough free time to watch…
