March 13, 2020 CDC Recommends All Americans Keep Audio Logs During Pandemic for Future Protagonists to Stumble Upon CDC Recommends All Americans Keep Audio Logs During Pandemic for Future Protagonists to Stumble Upon WASHINGTON — At a press conference this afternoon, CDC Director Robert Redfield urged all American citizens to begin keeping audio diaries during the COVID-19 pandemic,…
December 3, 2019 Fit, Brown-Haired White Guy Tired of Accidentally Cosplaying as Video Game Protagonists Fit, Brown-Haired White Guy Tired of Accidentally Cosplaying as Video Game Protagonists AUSTIN, Texas — Local thirty-something white man Scott Leonard, a dude of generally normal appearance and slightly above-average physical fitness, has reportedly lost his patience…
