pro skater

Tony Hawk Controversially Wins Tournament After Being Allowed Two Dozen Restarts

MIAMI — Professional skateboarder Tony Hawk surprised the skateboarding community after winning a tournament by successfully convincing the judges to…

4 years ago

All Cops Are Bastards Even If They Can Collect All Five COMBO Letters While Scoring 12,376,400 Points

Alright, listen up. I’ve heard of you bootlicking posers that have been asking if this or that person is excused…

4 years ago

Incredibly Realistic ‘Skate 4’ Makes Players Ration Little Cup of Salsa for Entire Burrito

LOS ANGELES — Anticipation for the fourth installment of EA’s popular Skate franchise has heightened after the company promised the…

4 years ago

Lonely Tony Hawk Swears He Landed 20,000

ENCINITAS, Calif. — Professional skateboarder Tony Hawk has reportedly been telling friends and fans that he landed a “20,000,” a…

5 years ago

Activision: ‘Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 3’ Remake Not Coming Until Consoles Can Render Bam Margera In Full Detail

SANTA MONICA, Calif. — Promising that they would release a definitive version of the 2001 classic as soon as modern…

5 years ago

We Interviewed Skateboarding Legend Darth Maul

At the dawn of the millennium, Sith Lord Darth Maul made a name for himself as one of the most…

6 years ago

Skaters Outraged After THPS Warehouse Converted to Luxury Apartments

WOODLAND HILLS, Calif. — Protests outside the former Tony Hawk Pro Skater level “Warehouse” entered their third day as local…

7 years ago