October 30, 2020 Trump Administration Remains Silent on Rumored Melania Series X Trump Administration Remains Silent on Rumored Melania Series X WASHINGTON — Despite many pictures and sources alleging its development, the Trump administration has remained tight lipped about the heavily rumored Melania Series X. “There…
October 29, 2020 ‘America Will Look Vastly Different After November,’ Says Man Discussing ‘Hyrule Warriors’ Launch Day ‘America Will Look Vastly Different After November,’ Says Man Discussing ‘Hyrule Warriors’ Launch Day WASHINGTON — Warning his friends and loved ones of the coming weeks and months of uncertainty, local politico Philippe Cruz remarked today that America will…
October 24, 2020 Trump Criticized for Diverting Funding From Everybody Votes Channel to Check Mii Out Trump Criticized for Diverting Funding From Everybody Votes Channel to Check Mii Out WASHINGTON D.C. — President Donald Trump is facing criticism from Democratic leaders after announcing plans to divert funding from the Nintendo Wii’s Everybody Votes channel…
October 20, 2020 Trump Refuses to Pass Controller After Character Dies Trump Refuses to Pass Controller After Character Dies WASHINGTON — Continuing his trend of bucking universally accepted social norms, President Donald Trump today announced his refusal to pass the controller to anybody else,…
October 1, 2020 Beto O’Rourke Skateboarding Game Has You Collect Letters P-O-L-I-T-I-C-A-L-C-O-W-A-R-D Beto O’Rourke Skateboarding Game Has You Collect Letters P-O-L-I-T-I-C-A-L-C-O-W-A-R-D EL PASO, Texas — Former United States representative Beto O’Rourke announced a new skateboarding video game that lets players collect the letters to spell out…
September 12, 2020 Leaked Documents Show Trump Attempted to Hire Bugs Bunny to Saw Mexico Off From North America Leaked Documents Show Trump Attempted to Hire Bugs Bunny to Saw Mexico Off From North America WASHINGTON — Documents leaked by an anonymous whistleblower show that President Donald Trump attempted to hire Bugs Bunny for the purpose of sawing Mexico off…
August 18, 2020 Democrats Plead President Trump to Use #Ad When Promoting Private Businesses Democrats Plead President Trump to Use #Ad When Promoting Private Businesses WASHINGTON — Democrats in Congress have urged the President Donald Trump to include the hashtag “#Ad” when promoting any private businesses following recent tweets by…
August 8, 2020 Olimar Insists Red Pikmin are “Virtually Immune” to Drowning Olimar Insists Red Pikmin are “Virtually Immune” to Drowning PNF-404 — Captain Olimar insisted to a group of red Pikmin today that they need not worry while trying to cross a river because they…
August 4, 2020 Trump Boasts About Getting Through Professor Layton Games “Without Too Much Help” Trump Boasts About Getting Through Professor Layton Games “Without Too Much Help” WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump recently called into Hannity to boast about the minimal help he needed beating the entire series of Professor Layton games…
