June 24, 2021 Kotaku Headline Trying a Little Too Hard to Be Your Friend Kotaku Headline Trying a Little Too Hard to Be Your Friend NEW YORK — A new headline on the video game website Kotaku about an upcoming video game delay is reportedly trying a little too hard…
April 14, 2021 Want to Write About Video Games? Here’s 4,000 Blank Lines So You Can Print This Article and Get Started Want to Write About Video Games? Here’s 4,000 Blank Lines So You Can Print This Article and Get Started It’s hard to break into the video game journalism industry. That’s why we wanted to give you a leg up! _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________…
February 7, 2021 Why We’re Replacing Review Scores With a Photo of Either an Approving or Disapproving Parent Why We’re Replacing Review Scores With a Photo of Either an Approving or Disapproving Parent As any self-respecting video game review reader knows, reviewing video games is really hard work and nothing hurts more than when someone loads up the…
December 28, 2020 Brian David Gilbert Begins Comprehensive Deep Dive Into How to Get Health Insurance Now Brian David Gilbert Begins Comprehensive Deep Dive Into How to Get Health Insurance Now NEW YORK — After leaving Polygon to work on his own projects, video producer Brian David Gilbert began one of his heavily researched deep dives,…
November 24, 2020 Opinion: These Good Good McEl-Boys Have Infected My Word Brain and It Suuuuuuucks Opinion: These Good Good McEl-Boys Have Infected My Word Brain and It Suuuuuuucks Helloooooo, and welcome to My Article, My Article, and Me, an op-ed column for the mod-ren era. I’m your Hard Drive columnist, Author McEl-Boy, and…
September 1, 2020 Gamer Disgusted to Discover They Just Watched Nick Robinson Video Gamer Disgusted to Discover They Just Watched Nick Robinson Video NEW YORK — Local gamer Jesse Cooper was reportedly horrified to discover the 15-minute YouTube video they just finished was made by disgraced former Polygon…
November 26, 2019 Polygon Writers Throw Dart at Board to Decide Which New Game is Reminiscent of Twin Peaks Polygon Writers Throw Dart at Board to Decide Which New Game is Reminiscent of Twin Peaks NEW YORK — The Polygon editorial team reportedly threw darts at a board of upcoming video game releases to decide which one they would describe…
January 19, 2019 Woman Disappointed Her Date Doesn’t Look Anything Like His Cutscenes Woman Disappointed Her Date Doesn’t Look Anything Like His Cutscenes CHICAGO — Kate Patterson was reportedly disappointed Saturday when her date arrived two hours late and had the gall to not look like the cutscenes…
January 12, 2019 Middle School Bully Has No Idea He’s Creating Future Polygon Video Content Creator Middle School Bully Has No Idea He’s Creating Future Polygon Video Content Creator MILWAUKEE, Wisc. — Local bully Justin Marwall was reportedly unaware that the child he was picking on in his 8th grade math class, Kris Stevenson,…
