police

Heartwarming: This Cop and MAGA Supporter Finally Met After Years of Playing Xbox Live Together

WASHINGTON — A touching tale unfolded this afternoon during the “Stop The Steal” rally as a local police officer and…

4 years ago

“With Great Power, Comes No Responsibility,” Cop Tells Spider-Man

NEW YORK — New York police officer David Whitehead pulled Spider-Man aside today after teaming up to beat up a…

4 years ago

Raccoon City Police Department Bans Controversial ‘Move While Aiming’ Technique

RACCOON CITY — The embattled Raccoon Police Department has officially banned the force’s unpopular ‘move while aiming,’ technique, Chief of…

4 years ago

Police Desperate to Solve Murder Case Decide to ‘Ask Madden’

DENVER — After exhausting all other leads and possible suspects, stumped Colorado law enforcement officials turned to the famous football…

4 years ago

Local Police Forced to Stop Supernatural Evil Plaguing Town After Neighborhood Kids Fail

PAXTON, Mass. — The failure of a precocious gang of tween misfits to vanquish a cosmic evil known as Hy’groth…

4 years ago

Police Abduct Enough Protesters to Upgrade Unmarked Van with Cool Flame Skin

PORTLAND, Ore. — Police and federal troops have reportedly abducted enough protesters to upgrade their unmarked vans with a variety…

4 years ago

New Sesame Street Episode Brought to You by the Letters ACAB

NEW YORK — Breaking tradition with the usual format of having episodes sponsored by single letters, a bruised, exhausted-looking Big Bird…

4 years ago

Report: Power Rangers Receive 0 Hours of Training Before Being Given Lethal Megazord

ANGEL GROVE, Calif. — Despite receiving absolutely no training of any kind, the adolescent vigilante group “Power Rangers” were reportedly…

4 years ago

Gotham Rules Batman Can Only Break One Limb on Guy

GOTHAM CITY — Gotham City has passed a controversial new bill that would restrict famed vigilante crime fighter Batman to…

4 years ago