January 7, 2021 Heartwarming: This Cop and MAGA Supporter Finally Met After Years of Playing Xbox Live Together Heartwarming: This Cop and MAGA Supporter Finally Met After Years of Playing Xbox Live Together WASHINGTON — A touching tale unfolded this afternoon during the “Stop The Steal” rally as a local police officer and a MAGA supporter united after…
November 21, 2020 “With Great Power, Comes No Responsibility,” Cop Tells Spider-Man “With Great Power, Comes No Responsibility,” Cop Tells Spider-Man NEW YORK — New York police officer David Whitehead pulled Spider-Man aside today after teaming up to beat up a group of low-level drug dealers…
September 20, 2020 Raccoon City Police Department Bans Controversial ‘Move While Aiming’ Technique Raccoon City Police Department Bans Controversial ‘Move While Aiming’ Technique RACCOON CITY — The embattled Raccoon Police Department has officially banned the force’s unpopular ‘move while aiming,’ technique, Chief of Police Brian Irons confirmed today.…
September 20, 2020 Police Desperate to Solve Murder Case Decide to ‘Ask Madden’ Police Desperate to Solve Murder Case Decide to ‘Ask Madden’ DENVER — After exhausting all other leads and possible suspects, stumped Colorado law enforcement officials turned to the famous football coach, video game icon and…
August 29, 2020 Local Police Forced to Stop Supernatural Evil Plaguing Town After Neighborhood Kids Fail Local Police Forced to Stop Supernatural Evil Plaguing Town After Neighborhood Kids Fail PAXTON, Mass. — The failure of a precocious gang of tween misfits to vanquish a cosmic evil known as Hy’groth and their resulting slaughter has…
August 17, 2020 Police Abduct Enough Protesters to Upgrade Unmarked Van with Cool Flame Skin Police Abduct Enough Protesters to Upgrade Unmarked Van with Cool Flame Skin PORTLAND, Ore. — Police and federal troops have reportedly abducted enough protesters to upgrade their unmarked vans with a variety of cosmetic skins, according to…
July 8, 2020 New Sesame Street Episode Brought to You by the Letters ACAB New Sesame Street Episode Brought to You by the Letters ACAB NEW YORK — Breaking tradition with the usual format of having episodes sponsored by single letters, a bruised, exhausted-looking Big Bird announced to viewers that week’s…
July 6, 2020 Report: Power Rangers Receive 0 Hours of Training Before Being Given Lethal Megazord Report: Power Rangers Receive 0 Hours of Training Before Being Given Lethal Megazord ANGEL GROVE, Calif. — Despite receiving absolutely no training of any kind, the adolescent vigilante group “Power Rangers” were reportedly handed blasters and keys to…
July 5, 2020 Gotham Rules Batman Can Only Break One Limb on a Guy Gotham Rules Batman Can Only Break One Limb on a Guy GOTHAM CITY — Gotham City has passed a controversial new bill that would restrict famed vigilante crime fighter Batman to only breaking a single limb…
