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Alarming Daily Screen Time Report Doesn’t Include TV or Computer Monitor

SARASOTA, Fla. — Straining his eyes while scrolling through the report to make sure he was understanding things right, distraught…

4 years ago

Tim Cook Announces “We Decided to Make the iPhone Worse This Time”

CUPERTINO, Calif. — Apple CEO Tim Cook astonished Silicon Valley with a promise to disregard customers’ high expectations at this…

4 years ago

Cisco Delays Next-Gen Office Phone for 20th Consecutive Year

SAN JOSE, Calif. — Citing production issues due to the coronavirus pandemic, Cisco Systems has delayed the long-awaited sequel to…

4 years ago

REPORT: Nobody in Group Chat Touching That One

NEW YORK — Members of a local group chat insisted that they wouldn’t be going anywhere near that comment, preferring…

4 years ago

Shitty Mobile Game Ad More Fun Than Shitty Mobile Game It Interrupted

WARRENTON, Mo. — In a revelation that made him question his instincts, local gamer Kevin Lanigan recently realized that the…

4 years ago

Privacy Advocates Warn “Shrek Yourself” App May Be Used To Collect Names and Faces of Americans Who Want to Look Like Shrek

SAN FRANCISCO — Digital rights experts warned that Americans using a hot new phone app to make themselves resemble a…

4 years ago

New Nintendo Phone Only Calls People You Don’t Know

KYOTO, Japan — During a Nintendo Direct press conference this morning, the company announced the new Nintendo Phone, a smartphone…

5 years ago

Man Anxiously Waiting for HQ Trivia to Start So He Can Type “TRUMP” in Chat

KNOXVILLE, Tenn. — Larry Pullman, 37, is anticipating this afternoon’s HQ Trivia game in which he plans to type “TRUMP”…

7 years ago

Ad-Ridden Sudoku App Early Lock for Mom’s GOTY

MUNCIE, Ind. — Linda Schulte, mother for 34 years and recent smartphone owner, announced in a Facebook post today that…

7 years ago