June 27, 2021 Asshole D&D Player Can’t Make Session Because ‘Their Parents Died’ Asshole D&D Player Can’t Make Session Because ‘Their Parents Died’ MIDDLETON, Wis. — Local dipshit and occasional tabletop gamer Christian Taylor has cancelled on his supposedly regular Dungeons and Dragons group yet again with the…
February 7, 2021 Why We’re Replacing Review Scores With a Photo of Either an Approving or Disapproving Parent Why We’re Replacing Review Scores With a Photo of Either an Approving or Disapproving Parent As any self-respecting video game review reader knows, reviewing video games is really hard work and nothing hurts more than when someone loads up the…
October 10, 2020 Kids With Two Living Parents Demand Representation in Disney Films Kids With Two Living Parents Demand Representation in Disney Films BURBANK, Cali. — A protest was held outside Disney headquarters earlier this week by the organization Kids of Two Loving Parents (KoTLP) demanding that the…
May 7, 2020 Parents Blame Poorly-Made Video Games For Son’s Annoying, Glitchy Outbursts Parents Blame Poorly-Made Video Games For Son’s Annoying, Glitchy Outbursts TRENTON, N.J. — Claiming their child hasn’t been the same since he started gaming, concerned parents Mark and Liza Kristensen are blaming poorly-made, badly-reviewed video…
January 21, 2020 Disappointment After Dad Announces ‘Mom 2’ Disappointment After Dad Announces ‘Mom 2’ LITTLE ROCK, Ark. — After waiting through three years of divorce, local brothers Jimmy and Kiernan Henderson received a surprise announcement from Dad about Mom…
June 27, 2019 Gamer Parent Calls Every Piece of Son’s Sport Equipment a Nike Gamer Parent Calls Every Piece of Son’s Sport Equipment a Nike KATY, Texas — Local parent and avid gamer Ashley Garcia reportedly refers to every piece of her son’s sports equipment as a “Nike,” regardless of…
February 15, 2019 Nation’s Parents Confirm Top New Streamer Named ‘Fungo’ or Something Along Those Lines Nation’s Parents Confirm Top New Streamer Named ‘Fungo’ or Something Along Those Lines COLUMBIA, S.C. — An advocacy group of American parents announced this morning that the top new personality on the Twitch video game streaming platform was…
