pandemic

Pandemic to Auto-Renew on March 12th

EARTH — The entire world was devastated to learn Friday that, because of a general oversight on humanity’s part, the…

4 years ago

America Unsure If Pandemic Is One of Those Scripted Fights You’re Supposed to Lose

WASHINGTON — As the infection rates and death counts throughout the nation continue to slowly creep upwards, citizens throughout the…

4 years ago

COVID-19 Gears Up for Another Double-XP Weekend

ATLANTA — Scientists at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention have confirmed that the COVID-19 virus is gearing up…

4 years ago

Skyrim ‘Pandemic Update’ Increases Shout Damage by 1,000 Percent

ROCKVILLE, Md. — Bethesda Softworks announced a new “Pandemic Update” for their hit RPG, The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, in…

4 years ago

Coronavirus Experiences Double-XP Weekend in Re-Opened States

ATLANTA — Scientists at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention are confirming that, following several states’ pushes to reopen,…

5 years ago

Quarantined Gamer Dangerously Close to Finishing Game

RESTON, Va. — With America approaching a third month of quarantine due to COVID-19, gamer James Batson is reportedly battling…

5 years ago

Community Applauds at 3 a.m. Every Day to Celebrate Gaming Heroes Who Don’t Go Outside

NEW YORK — The residents of New York City have begun applauding out their windows every single day at three…

5 years ago

Irresponsible Villagers Still Attending Concerts During Pandemic

BIG SKY ISLAND — Residents of a single-island community in the remote ocean are defying the government’s orders for social…

5 years ago

Laid Off Gamer Plays Switch in Bathroom Just to Feel Normal Again

LINCOLN, Neb. — After being laid off from his job at a regional cardboard box supply company last week, local…

5 years ago