September 25, 2020 Grandma Playing Super Mario 64 Can’t Get Past Part Where You Endlessly Pull Mario’s Cute Little Cheeks Grandma Playing Super Mario 64 Can’t Get Past Part Where You Endlessly Pull Mario’s Cute Little Cheeks PEEKSKILL, N.Y. — Local grandma Meredith Blum has been stuck for two days on the opening screen of Super Mario 64, reportedly unable to complete…
September 25, 2020 Nintendo Direct Leaves Gamer Excited About 14 Games He Won’t Buy When They Come Out Nintendo Direct Leaves Gamer Excited About 14 Games He Won’t Buy When They Come Out TUCSON, Ariz. — A recent installment of Nintendo’s Direct series of videos showcasing upcoming software coming to their platform has one gamer particularly elated about…
September 22, 2020 Dad Getting Tired of Cleaning Rupees Out of Lawnmower Dad Getting Tired of Cleaning Rupees Out of Lawnmower BEAVERCREEK, Ohio — Local father Stu Campbell is reportedly fed up with having to clean hundreds of rupees out of his lawnmower every time he…
September 21, 2020 Nintendo in Panic Mode After Microsoft Acquires Luigi Nintendo in Panic Mode After Microsoft Acquires Luigi KYOTO, Japan — Nintendo has reportedly entered a full state of panic with executives blindsided after Microsoft announced that it had acquired Luigi. “How is…
September 19, 2020 Quarantined Clock Town Resident Can’t Remember If It’s Day 1 or Day 3 Quarantined Clock Town Resident Can’t Remember If It’s Day 1 or Day 3 CLOCK TOWN, Termina — Clock Town resident and Stock Pot Inn owner Anju, 17, reported confusion today after struggling to remember what day it was…
September 18, 2020 Mario Exhausted After Taking Massive Jump Mario Exhausted After Taking Massive Jump MUSHROOM KINGDOM — Onlookers were astonished earlier today as the mustachioed hero of the Mushroom Kingdom, Mario, collapsed in exhaustion after taking a massive jump…
September 16, 2020 Nintendo Sends DMCA Takedown to Nintendo for Emulating Mario Games Nintendo Sends DMCA Takedown to Nintendo for Emulating Mario Games KYOTO, Japan — Nintendo has issued a DMCA takedown to Nintendo, threatening to press legal action if the studio doesn’t remove its fan emulation project,…
September 14, 2020 Gamer Can’t Help But Hear ‘Continue?’ Every Day When Waking Up Gamer Can’t Help But Hear ‘Continue?’ Every Day When Waking Up ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — Local gamer Stephen McLaughlin can’t help but hear the voice of the Super Smash Bros. Melee announcer saying “Continue?” every single time…
September 13, 2020 Isle Delfino Residents Guessing at Political Message Behind New Banksy Piece Isle Delfino Residents Guessing at Political Message Behind New Banksy Piece ISLE DELFINO — Residents of Isle Delfino were left shocked and amazed this week as a mysterious public art installation that appeared overnight was believed…
