June 30, 2018 Report: Fuck Shit Goddamn Motherfucking Ass Shit Fuck Report: Fuck Shit Goddamn Motherfucking Ass Shit Fuck RALEIGH, N.C. — A lead change occurred in the final lap of the Rainbow Road Grand Prix last night during what was supposed to be…
June 21, 2018 Hard Drive History: The True Origin of Star Fox 64’s Iconic Characters Hard Drive History: The True Origin of Star Fox 64’s Iconic Characters Hard Drive History is back with the fascinating origins of each character from the hit Nintendo classic Star Fox 64!
June 14, 2018 E3 is an Outdated and Unnecessary Industry Circlejerk, Reports Website Denied Press Pass E3 is an Outdated and Unnecessary Industry Circlejerk, Reports Website Denied Press Pass While E3 was once the shining mecca of Video Game Journalism, with the prevalence of new media and direct developer-to-consumer communication there is simply no…
June 14, 2018 Sakurai: Waluigi is Too Big to Fit in Smash Bros Sakurai: Waluigi is Too Big to Fit in Smash Bros KYOTO, Japan — Masahiro Sakurai, creator of the video game series Super Smash Bros., explained to disappointed fans today that the reason Waluigi is not…
June 9, 2018 Purist Surgeon Refuses to Operate Surgery Robot With Anything but GameCube Controller Purist Surgeon Refuses to Operate Surgery Robot With Anything but GameCube Controller BOSTON — Explaining that newer controllers don’t quite provide the same comfort or familiarity, surgeon Dr. Frank Powell said this morning that he refuses to…
June 8, 2018 Amazing: This 8-Year-Old Built a Labo Robot That Took His Dad’s Factory Job Amazing: This 8-Year-Old Built a Labo Robot That Took His Dad’s Factory Job The Nintendo Labo and its cardboard constructables offer endless possibilities to players of all ages, but we can guarantee that you aren’t nearly as Labo-savvy…
May 9, 2018 Anthropologists Interview Last Man Who Remembers Good Star Fox Game Anthropologists Interview Last Man Who Remembers Good Star Fox Game AMAZON RAINFOREST, Brazil — In a stunning development, researchers discovered and were able to document the recollections of what anthropologists believe to be the last…
May 4, 2018 Sad Incel Doesn’t Get the Hint From Uninterested Girl Sad Incel Doesn’t Get the Hint From Uninterested Girl MUSHROOM KINGDOM — Plumber and noted loner Mario Mario has reportedly missed multiple verbal and nonverbal cues from Princess Peach, who has desperately tried to…
May 1, 2018 Shitty Game Console Looking Forward to Retro Status Shitty Game Console Looking Forward to Retro Status KYOTO, Japan — Executives at Nintendo are reportedly counting the days until their Wii U console, an underwhelming system released six years ago, becomes old…
