April 3, 2020 Animal Crossing Player Buries Government Check in Hole Animal Crossing Player Buries Government Check in Hole PARMA, Ohio — Local Animal Crossing: New Horizons player, Theresa Marks, reportedly plans to bury her government check for $1,200 as soon as she gets…
April 2, 2020 Switch Owners Enter Mexican Stand-Off Over Which Will Type in Other’s Friend Code First Switch Owners Enter Mexican Stand-Off Over Which Will Type in Other’s Friend Code First TOLEDO, Ohio — A pair of Nintendo Switch owners have entered day seven of a stand-off over who will be the first to send the…
April 2, 2020 Gamer Kicked Out of Louvre for Trying to Jump Into Mona Lisa World Gamer Kicked Out of Louvre for Trying to Jump Into Mona Lisa World PARIS — Panic broke out within the Louvre earlier this week when a tourist attempted to launch himself over the crowd and through Leonardo da…
April 1, 2020 Blathers Gladly Accepts Giant Rabbit Skeleton ‘Fossil’ for Museum Blathers Gladly Accepts Giant Rabbit Skeleton ‘Fossil’ for Museum YOUBERG ISLAND — Local museum curator Blathers recently acquired a new set of bones for the island, the skeleton of a large rabbit, and reportedly…
April 1, 2020 Green Koopa Sneakily Paints Shell Red So He Doesn’t Have to March to His Death Green Koopa Sneakily Paints Shell Red So He Doesn’t Have to March to His Death MUSHROOM KINGDOM — In an attempt to save himself from certain death by walking directly off a platform, a local green Koopa named George was…
March 31, 2020 Refurbished Joy Con Won’t Stop Talking About Its Trip to San Francisco Refurbished Joy Con Won’t Stop Talking About Its Trip to San Francisco AKRON, Ohio — A joy con that was recently mailed back from San Francisco after having some drift issues repaired by Nintendo reportedly won’t stop…
March 28, 2020 Newly Hatched Baby Pokémon Gains 23 Levels Watching Dragonite Beat Shit Out of Gym Leader Newly Hatched Baby Pokémon Gains 23 Levels Watching Dragonite Beat Shit Out of Gym Leader KANTO — Several minutes after being hatched from an egg received from a nearby day care center, a newborn baby Squirtle gained 23 levels at…
March 28, 2020 Gamer Has Heard Good Things About ‘Super Mario Bros.’ But Never Played It Gamer Has Heard Good Things About ‘Super Mario Bros.’ But Never Played It CHICAGO — During a conversation about video games with a friend at a recent house party, longtime gamer Phillip Krieger perked up at the mention…
March 28, 2020 Gamer Sets Clock Ahead 3 Months to Skip Past Pandemic Gamer Sets Clock Ahead 3 Months to Skip Past Pandemic ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — Local gamer Freddy Strickland has changed all the clocks in his apartment to early July in order to skip past the COVID-19…
