nintendo

Divorcing Couple Agrees to Joint Custody of Raymond

RIDGEWOOD, N.J. — After hours of mediation, divorcing couple David and Sophie Keller have finally found middle ground as they…

4 years ago

Olimar Insists Red Pikmin are “Virtually Immune” to Drowning

PNF-404 — Captain Olimar insisted to a group of red Pikmin today that they need not worry while trying to…

4 years ago

Trump Boasts About Getting Through Professor Layton Games “Without Too Much Help”

WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump recently called into Hannity to boast about the minimal help he needed beating the entire…

4 years ago

Guy Who Peaked During Tutorial Never Moves Out of Pallet Town

KANTO — Local would-be Pokémon trainer Bobby, despite completing his initial training, receiving a Pokédex, and being fully prepared to…

4 years ago

Moronic Dataminers Thrilled After Discovering Luigi In ‘Super Mario 64 DS’

NEW YORK — Following a string of leaks of early builds and scrapped ideas for beloved Nintendo games, the emulation…

4 years ago

Disgraced ‘Smash Bros.’ Player Announces Hiatus, Plans to Main Self for Little While

SEATTLE — Tyler Wendell, the latest pro Super Smash Bros. player accused of sexual misconduct, has announced that he will…

4 years ago

Man Tasked With Making Score for Monkey Riding a Swordfish Underwater Creates Transcendent Piece of Music

COALVILLE, U.K. —  Donkey Kong Country’s recent addition to the Nintendo Switch Online SNES collection has fans and audiophiles alike…

4 years ago

Guy Who’s Really Good at Landing Mario’s Forward Smash Can’t Possibly Have Hurt All Those People

SAN DIEGO — Fans of professional Smash Bros. player and alleged sexual predator ‘K1ra’ have reported widespread feelings of disbelief…

4 years ago

President Trump Appoints Dr. Goomba Tower as New Head, Head, and Head of COVID-19 Task Force

WASHINGTON — President Trump announced this morning that he would be naming Dr. Goomba Tower as the new head, head,…

4 years ago