nintendo

Japanese Holdout Still Fighting Console War for Sega

HAGÅTÑA, Guam — Engu Kyuwa, a Japanese soldier in the Console War, was discovered to still be fighting in Guam,…

6 years ago

Nintendo Rebrands Original Game Boy as ‘Game Boy Thicc’

KYOTO, Japan  —  Nintendo president Tatsumi Kimishima announced today that Nintendo would be bringing back their beloved original Game Boy…

6 years ago

DC Announces Movie Adaptation of Superman 64

BURBANK, Calif. — Warner Brothers has announced that the next edition in the DC Extended Universe will be an adaptation…

6 years ago

Nintendo Execs Celebrate 100 Million Gamers Who Say They Should Get Switch

REDMOND, Wash. — Nintendo of America COO Reggie Fils-Aime announced today that Nintendo has achieved record-breaking theoretical sales from 100…

6 years ago

Nintendo Announces Metroid Prime 4 Teaser Trailer Release Date Reveal Date

KYOTO, Japan — Nintendo has announced that early next year they will reveal the date for the Metroid Prime 4…

6 years ago

Nintendo Online Service Requires Players to Call Reggie Fils-Aimé Every Week

KYOTO, Japan — Nintendo announced today that their recently launched online service now includes yet another contingency: Switch owners will be…

6 years ago

Nintendo Already Sold Out of Online

KYOTO, Japan — Nintendo Co. announced the release of Nintendo Switch Online today, along with the announcement that it has…

6 years ago

Hackers Exploit N64 Hardware Glitch That Makes Mario Feel Real Pain

TOKYO, Japan — The gaming community discovered yet another vulnerability in the classic Nintendo 64 console, which works in conjunction…

6 years ago

Bible Scholars Reveal Jesus Christ Played Shit-Ton of Mario Party

VATICAN CITY — Bible Scholars have determined that Jesus Christ’s hand injuries, previously thought to have been caused by crucifixion,…

6 years ago