nintendo

Nintendo Sends DMCA Takedown to Man’s Arm for Triforce Tattoo

ATLANTA — Video game company Nintendo has sent a cease and desist to local fan Denis Fernandez for his Legend…

5 years ago

Boyfriend Down to Two Stocks After Being Knocked Off Bed

ALBANY, N.Y. — Local boyfriend Dennis McElris is reportedly down to just two stocks after being knocked off the bed…

5 years ago

Super Smash Bros. Datamine Reveals That Coding Seems Really Complicated

TUCSON, Ariz. — A hacker has broken Super Smash Bros. Ultimate open and apparently revealed a host of new details…

5 years ago

We Asked Kirby Why He Doesn’t Just Turn Into Endangered Species and Fuck Them

DREAM LAND — A recent sit down interview with Nintendo superstar Kirby revealed some insights into a decades long career…

5 years ago

Study: 85% of Christians Still Do Not Believe Humans Evolved From Donkey Kong

WASHINGTON — According to a nationwide survey conducted by the Pew Research Center, an overwhelming 85% of Christians do not…

5 years ago

Yoshi Becomes Proud Parent of Person They Just Ate

YOSHI’S ISLAND — Beloved dinosaur and Super Smash Bros. fighter Yoshi became the proud parent of Captain Falcon seconds after…

5 years ago

35 Year-Old Man Still Sees Pediatrician With N64 in Waiting Room

KANSAS CITY — 35-year-old Peter Brydon has been seeing family pediatrician Dr. Richard Cohen, who has had a Nintendo 64…

5 years ago

Local Dullard Chooses Mario in Mario Kart

DAYTONA BEACH, Fla. — In a choice that demonstrated an astounding dearth of imagination, town simpleton Adam Tucker decided to…

5 years ago

Controversial Filmmaker Defends Choice to Keep Rolling as Italian Man Is Beaten to Death

MUSHROOM KINGDOM — Following a public outcry, auteur filmmaker Lakitu defended his decision to continue running his camera while a…

5 years ago