nintendo

Nearly Unusable Controller Still in Rotation Because It Looks Cool

HUNTSVILLE, Texas — Roommates Audley Stoddard, Jay Heath, and Corwin Reed have announced their intention to continue regularly using a…

5 years ago

Something Fishy About Private ‘Animal Crossing’ Island That Bill Clinton, Donald Trump, and Prince Andrew Keep Visiting

NEW HORIZONS — Those playing the newly released Animal Crossing: New Horizons for the Nintendo Switch noted that there was…

5 years ago

Animal Crossing Delayed Indefinitely After Gulliver Washes Up on Shore With COVID-19

KYOTO, Japan — Nintendo made the difficult decision to delay Animal Crossing: New Horizons indefinitely after Gulliver washed up on…

5 years ago

CDC Warns Americans Against Touching Mario’s Face In ‘Super Mario 64’

ATLANTA — The Center for Disease Control and Prevention held a press conference today explaining in detail the health risks…

5 years ago

UFC to Introduce Items

LAS VEGAS — UFC president Dana White has announced that certain matches put on by the mixed martial arts promotion…

5 years ago

Bernie Sanders Calls on Nintendo to Release Animal Crossing Early

BURLINGTON, Vt. — In the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic, Senator Bernie Sanders has called on Nintendo to preemptively release…

5 years ago

Dr. Mario Stitches Up Three Goombas in Stack for Horrifying ‘Goomba-Centipede’ Experiment

MUSHROOM KINGDOM — The perverted Dr. Mario has disgraced the medical community once again after stitching together three goomba victims…

5 years ago

Get It Together: Can You Remember What Case You Left Melee in Before Your Sleepover Devolves Into Chaos?

It’s Friday, and you know what that means: the boys are coming over for a sleepover! Mom just tidied up…

5 years ago

Reggie Proposes GameStop Increase Business By Including Free Copy Of ‘Wii Sports’ With Every Purchase

GRAPEVINE, Texas — Assuring his fellow board members that his plan would work just as well as it did the…

5 years ago