new horizons

Animal Crossing Inspires Fan to Redecorate Apartment by Pushing All Furniture Against Walls

MOORESVILLE, N.D. — Avid Animal Crossing fan Annabelle Ortega decided to redecorate her real-life apartment based off her house in…

5 years ago

Fans Disappointed to Discover It Was Actually Daniel Radcliffe Who Visited That Girl’s Animal Crossing Island

NEW HORIZONS — Fans worldwide were disappointed to discover that the celebrity who visited someone’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons island…

5 years ago

Irresponsible Villagers Still Attending Concerts During Pandemic

BIG SKY ISLAND — Residents of a single-island community in the remote ocean are defying the government’s orders for social…

5 years ago

Dodo Airlines Asks For 50 Billion Bell Bail Out

NEW HORIZONS — Dodo Airlines employee and CEO Orville came forward earlier this week with a statement pleading for a…

5 years ago

Animal Crossing: New Horizons is So Beautiful You Can Almost Forget It’s Rehab Facility

Written by Jay Miller Narrated by Mark Roebuck Edited by Peter Kemme

5 years ago

So-Called Resident Doesn’t Even Have DIY Recipes to Offer

NEW YORK — Local apartment resident Milo, a 4-year old house cat, reportedly has no DIY recipes to offer his…

5 years ago

Animal Crossing Player Buries Government Check in Hole

PARMA, Ohio — Local Animal Crossing: New Horizons player, Theresa Marks, reportedly plans to bury her government check for $1,200…

5 years ago

Animal Crossing Delayed Indefinitely After Gulliver Washes Up on Shore With COVID-19

KYOTO, Japan — Nintendo made the difficult decision to delay Animal Crossing: New Horizons indefinitely after Gulliver washed up on…

5 years ago

Bernie Sanders Calls on Nintendo to Release Animal Crossing Early

BURLINGTON, Vt. — In the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic, Senator Bernie Sanders has called on Nintendo to preemptively release…

5 years ago