nasa

NASA Sends Probe to Jupiter to Get More Stupider

WASHINGTON — Following the successful landing of the rover Perseverance onto the surface of Mars, NASA has launched a probe…

4 years ago

Mars Rover Immediately Fills All Inventory Slots With Ferrite Dust

PASADENA, Calif. — Mars rover Perseverance has already been filled to the brim with ferrite dust, engineers announced this morning.…

4 years ago

Initial Probe of Mars Surface Reveals no New Information on Metroid Prime 4

WASHINGTON — NASA’s Perseverance rover has landed on Mars and reportedly discovered no new information about Nintendo’s upcoming video game,…

4 years ago

Nestlé Files Lawsuit Claiming Moon Has No Legal Right to Water

ARLINGTON, Va. — Nestlé USA announced a lawsuit against the round astronomical body orbiting Earth, claiming the mass has no…

4 years ago

Tragic: Distant Aliens Just Now Receiving Radio Waves of Bad Simpsons Episodes

WASHINGTON — Astrophysicists from the NASA confirmed that radio waves of the bad The Simpsons seasons are beginning to reach…

6 years ago

NASA Discovers Planet With More Than 4 Playable Areas

WASHINGTON — NASA announced today the discovery of a new exoplanet that reportedly hosts at least four playable areas. This…

7 years ago

9 Year Old Nephew Has Scoop on Secret Nintendo Project

PITTSBURGH — Rumor mills are churning after 9-year-old nephew Kevin Cott claimed privileged information about an unannounced Nintendo game at…

7 years ago