movies

Metacritic to Allow Users to Type in Exactly the Review Score They Want to See

SANTA MONICA, Calif. — As part of its latest anti-review bombing measures, review aggregator Metacritic replaced both its Metascore and…

4 years ago

Local Police Forced to Stop Supernatural Evil Plaguing Town After Neighborhood Kids Fail

PAXTON, Mass. — The failure of a precocious gang of tween misfits to vanquish a cosmic evil known as Hy’groth…

4 years ago

Movie Trailer Editor Struggling to Create Menacing Rendition of ‘Mary Had Little Lamb’

HOLLYWOOD, Calif. — An editor tasked with creating a creepy horror movie trailer is having trouble figuring out how to…

4 years ago

Documentary About Rise and Fall of Quibi to Be About Ten Minutes Long

LOS ANGELES — Losing Stream, a new documentary chronicling the rapid rise and fall of subscription streaming service Quibi, reportedly…

4 years ago

AMC Theaters to Reopen Long Enough to Show Half of Tenet

KANSAS CITY, Mo. — AMC has announced a tentative plan to reopen most of its theaters nationwide long enough to…

4 years ago

Fearful Rick Moranis Unable to Back Out of Contract That Allows Disney to Really Shrink Him

LOS ANGELES — In a twist that has put his return to movies into troubling context, beloved 80’s and 90’s…

4 years ago

Red Letter Media Accidentally Posts Four-Hour Video Lambasting ‘Black Widow’ Six Months Prior to Film’s Release

MILWAUKEE, Wis. — In what is being seen as a huge gaffe, popular YouTube channel Red Letter Media accidentally uploaded…

4 years ago

Diabetic Who Can’t Afford Insulin Feels Kind of Like Jason Statham From ‘Crank’

LOS ANGELES — After finding out he can’t afford next month’s supply of insulin, local indie cartoonist Thomas Makhoul reported…

5 years ago

Tom Hooper Suggests Re-Releasing ‘Cats’ After Shutdown Because It Seems Like Everyone Was Busy When It Came Out or Something

LOS ANGELES — Cats director Tom Hooper suggested on social media today that theaters could re-release Cats once the quarantine…

5 years ago