mario

Recorder Prodigy Accidentally Warps to ClevelandRecorder Prodigy Accidentally Warps to Cleveland

Recorder Prodigy Accidentally Warps to Cleveland

EUGENE, Ore. — The case of Ellie Johnson, the 10 year-old girl that tragically and accidentally disappeared during her recent…

8 years ago
Nintendo Gearing up for Holiday Season by Destroying Any Remaining StockNintendo Gearing up for Holiday Season by Destroying Any Remaining Stock

Nintendo Gearing up for Holiday Season by Destroying Any Remaining Stock

KYOTO, Japan — Nintendo is preparing for the upcoming holiday season by making sure every remaining game and console are destroyed,…

8 years ago
New Reality TV Show ‘Dungeon Rescue’ to See Gordon Ramsay Critiquing Failing Evil LairsNew Reality TV Show ‘Dungeon Rescue’ to See Gordon Ramsay Critiquing Failing Evil Lairs

New Reality TV Show ‘Dungeon Rescue’ to See Gordon Ramsay Critiquing Failing Evil Lairs

LOS ANGELES — FOX announced today that celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay would spin off his popular Kitchen Nightmares TV series…

8 years ago
Study Finds 80% of NES Characters Believe Earth is Flat, Only Moves to the RightStudy Finds 80% of NES Characters Believe Earth is Flat, Only Moves to the Right

Study Finds 80% of NES Characters Believe Earth is Flat, Only Moves to the Right

BERKELEY, Calif. — A controversial U.C. Berkeley study found that 80% of classic Nintendo characters believe that the Earth is…

8 years ago
Disrespectful Immigrant Protester Tears Down FlagDisrespectful Immigrant Protester Tears Down Flag

Disrespectful Immigrant Protester Tears Down Flag

MUSHROOM KINGDOM — Mario Mario, an illegal immigrant to Mushroom Kingdom from Italy, tore down a Bowser flag today after…

8 years ago
Video Game Story Writer Considers Water Level His UlyssesVideo Game Story Writer Considers Water Level His Ulysses

Video Game Story Writer Considers Water Level His Ulysses

LANSING, Mich. — Veteran gaming story writer Scott McCormick is reportedly exceptionally pleased with his latest work, the backstory of…

8 years ago
Climate Scientists Warn That All Super Mario Levels Will Be Underwater by 2025Climate Scientists Warn That All Super Mario Levels Will Be Underwater by 2025

Climate Scientists Warn That All Super Mario Levels Will Be Underwater by 2025

PARIS — Top climate scientists released a new peer-reviewed research paper today, which warns that all Super Mario stages will…

8 years ago
I Don’t Care If You Agree With His Policies, Bowser Is Your KingI Don’t Care If You Agree With His Policies, Bowser Is Your King

I Don’t Care If You Agree With His Policies, Bowser Is Your King

Not your king, huh? Grow up. Quick question: are you a citizen of the Mushroom Kingdom? And is there a…

8 years ago
The Real Life Mario: This Man is in Charge of Fixing Plumbing Issues Caused by E3The Real Life Mario: This Man is in Charge of Fixing Plumbing Issues Caused by E3

The Real Life Mario: This Man is in Charge of Fixing Plumbing Issues Caused by E3

A few days ago at E3 we spoke to Ryan Jimenez, Los Angeles Convention Center’s head custodian and favorite plumber,…

8 years ago