mario

Recorder Prodigy Accidentally Warps to Cleveland

EUGENE, Ore. — The case of Ellie Johnson, the 10 year-old girl that tragically and accidentally disappeared during her recent…

7 years ago

Nintendo Gearing up for Holiday Season by Destroying Any Remaining Stock

KYOTO, Japan — Nintendo is preparing for the upcoming holiday season by making sure every remaining game and console are destroyed,…

7 years ago

New Reality TV Show ‘Dungeon Rescue’ to See Gordon Ramsay Critiquing Failing Evil Lairs

LOS ANGELES — FOX announced today that celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay would spin off his popular Kitchen Nightmares TV series…

7 years ago

Study Finds 80% of NES Characters Believe Earth is Flat, Only Moves to the Right

BERKELEY, Calif. — A controversial U.C. Berkeley study found that 80% of classic Nintendo characters believe that the Earth is…

7 years ago

Disrespectful Immigrant Protester Tears Down Flag

MUSHROOM KINGDOM — Mario Mario, an illegal immigrant to Mushroom Kingdom from Italy, tore down a Bowser flag today after…

7 years ago

Video Game Story Writer Considers Water Level His Ulysses

LANSING, Mich. — Veteran gaming story writer Scott McCormick is reportedly exceptionally pleased with his latest work, the backstory of…

7 years ago

Climate Scientists Warn That All Super Mario Levels Will Be Underwater by 2025

PARIS — Top climate scientists released a new peer-reviewed research paper today, which warns that all Super Mario stages will…

7 years ago

I Don’t Care If You Agree With His Policies, Bowser Is Your King

Not your king, huh? Grow up. Quick question: are you a citizen of the Mushroom Kingdom? And is there a…

7 years ago

The Real Life Mario: This Man is in Charge of Fixing Plumbing Issues Caused by E3

A few days ago at E3 we spoke to Ryan Jimenez, Los Angeles Convention Center’s head custodian and favorite plumber,…

7 years ago