mario

It’s-a No Fun Being-a Me: My-a Life With Super Mario Speech Disorder

Since I was-a just a boy, I have been-a the only known patient with-a what psychologists have dubbed Super Mario…

6 years ago

Underwater Level Detected on Mars

WASHINGTON — NASA announced on Wednesday that a 12-mile-wide underground lake has been detected near the Martian south pole, leading…

6 years ago

Man With Super Mario Ringtone Still Waiting for First Phone Call

TAMPA, Fla. — Local sources report that Brian Turner, 26, is still eagerly awaiting his first phone call since changing…

7 years ago

This is What Mario Would Look Like Without His Pubic Hair

We’re used to how certain characters look in video games, right? And if they’re altered ever slightly, sometimes it can…

7 years ago

Sad Incel Doesn’t Get the Hint From Uninterested Girl

MUSHROOM KINGDOM — Plumber and noted loner Mario Mario has reportedly missed multiple verbal and nonverbal cues from Princess Peach,…

7 years ago

Mario Defends Italy’s WW2 Actions in Controversial Interview

NEW DONK CITY — Iconic video game star Mario Mario is under fire for his controversial defense of Italy’s actions…

7 years ago

Final Boss Paid 35 Times More Than Level 1 Minion

MUSHROOM KINGDOM — A new study on wage distributions in Mushroom Kingdom by University of Toad Town has found the…

7 years ago

Mario Sent into Existential Crisis After Losing Go-Kart Race to Baby Version of Self

MUSHROOM KINGDOM — Following the first race of this year's 150cc Star Cup, Mario was sent into an existential crisis,…

7 years ago

Director of Mario Movie Revealed to be Two Gloved Hands

KYOTO, Japan — Nintendo announced today in a press release that the future Mario film will be directed by two…

7 years ago