mario

Grandma Playing Super Mario 64 Can’t Get Past Part Where You Endlessly Pull Mario’s Cute Little Cheeks

PEEKSKILL, N.Y. — Local grandma Meredith Blum has been stuck for two days on the opening screen of Super Mario…

4 years ago

Mario Exhausted After Taking Massive Jump

MUSHROOM KINGDOM — Onlookers were astonished earlier today as the mustachioed hero of the Mushroom Kingdom, Mario, collapsed in exhaustion…

4 years ago

Nintendo Sends DMCA Takedown to Nintendo for Emulating Mario Games

KYOTO, Japan — Nintendo has issued a DMCA takedown to Nintendo, threatening to press legal action if the studio doesn’t…

4 years ago

Nintendo Announces You Can Borrow Their Old Games But They’re Gonna Need Them Back

KYOTO, Japan — Nintendo announced a collection of 3D Mario games from past generations coming to Nintendo Switch today, available…

4 years ago

Nintendo Reveals Mario’s Full Canonical Name to be Mario Mario Mario Mario Mario Mario-Mario

KYOTO, Japan —  Nintendo sent shockwaves through the gaming industry today as they announced that their iconic mascot Mario’s canonical…

4 years ago

Mario Lopez Appearance on Access Hollywood Unexpectedly Sabotaged by Wario Lopez

LOS ANGELES — 2011 “Favorite TV Reality, Variety, or Comedy Personality or Act” ALMA Award nominee Mario Lopez was once…

4 years ago

Whomp Forced to Show Up for Guard Duty Despite Serious Back Injury

MUSHROOM KINGDOM — A guard in Bowser’s army was forced to show up for his shift even though he had…

4 years ago

Images From 343’s ‘Super Mario 64 Anniversary’ Leaked and It Looks Incredible

Holy shit you guys. Apparently 343, the company known for making the Halo games after Bungie moved on to Destiny,…

4 years ago

Bullshit Photoshop Class Doesn’t Even Tell You How to Give Mario Gun

AUSTIN, Texas —  Local graphic design student Rachel Valdez expressed frustration this week after realizing her Intro to Photoshop class…

4 years ago