April 8, 2020 Opinion: Bernie Should Have Stayed in the Primary in Case He Won Every Bonus Star Opinion: Bernie Should Have Stayed in the Primary in Case He Won Every Bonus Star Bernie Sanders officially ended his bid for the White House today, ceding the Democratic nomination to former Vice President Joe Biden. Many have been calling…
January 13, 2020 Everyone Wishes Man Would Stop Using Tongue to Twirl Control Stick in Mario Party Everyone Wishes Man Would Stop Using Tongue to Twirl Control Stick in Mario Party DENVER — A group of friends is appalled over one member’s insistence on using his tongue to spin the control stick in Mario Party mini…
August 2, 2018 Bible Scholars Reveal Jesus Christ Played Shit-Ton of Mario Party Bible Scholars Reveal Jesus Christ Played Shit-Ton of Mario Party VATICAN CITY — Bible Scholars have determined that Jesus Christ’s hand injuries, previously thought to have been caused by crucifixion, were actually the result of…
