April 16, 2021 ‘Mario Golf: Super Rush’ Adds Guy Who Tells You to Tuck in Your Shirt There, Buddy, This Isn’t the Hood ‘Mario Golf: Super Rush’ Adds Guy Who Tells You to Tuck in Your Shirt There, Buddy, This Isn’t the Hood KYOTO, Japan — In a surprise Direct presentation, Nintendo announced that Mario Golf: Super Rush will be adding a new character: the golf bro who…
February 6, 2021 Nintendo: Mario Will No Longer Come Back to Life Starting Next Week Nintendo: Mario Will No Longer Come Back to Life Starting Next Week KYOTO, Japan — A Nintendo press release has revealed that after decades of work as video games’ most iconic mascot, Mario will soon be dead…
January 10, 2021 No One at Mario’s High School Reunion Sure What He’s Talking About No One at Mario’s High School Reunion Sure What He’s Talking About GREAT NECK, N.Y. — Plumber, adventurer, and class of 1985 graduate Mario Mario reportedly confused the majority of his graduating class as he told old…
January 9, 2021 Inconsiderate Friend Doesn’t Spoiler Tag That Princess Peach Isn’t Actually in Castle Inconsiderate Friend Doesn’t Spoiler Tag That Princess Peach Isn’t Actually in Castle SPOKANE, Wash. — Discord user Michael McNeil drew the ire of a Mario fan server after failing to use spoiler tags when revealing that Princess…
December 6, 2020 Nintendo Serves Cease and Desist to Your Friend Who Pronounces It “May-Rio” Nintendo Serves Cease and Desist to Your Friend Who Pronounces It “May-Rio” REDMOND. Wash. — Nintendo has continued its brazen litigious patterns of late, issuing a cease and desist order to your one friend that has always…
November 9, 2020 Horrified Mario Regrets Triple Jumping Into H.R. Giger Painting Horrified Mario Regrets Triple Jumping Into H.R. Giger Painting METRO KINGDOM — Local adventurer Mario Mario is allegedly trapped inside an unsettling painting by modern artist H.R. Giger after having jumped 12-feet into the…
October 22, 2020 We’re Done With Waluigi. From Now On, We’re All In on Dry Bones We’re Done With Waluigi. From Now On, We’re All In on Dry Bones We here at Hard Drive, but also we as a culture, have spent a lot of time focusing on Nintendo’s scraggly purple stick man, Waluigi.…
October 1, 2020 Charles Martinet Steps Down as Voice of Mario After Being Unable to Finish Eating Gigantic Bowl of Spaghetti Charles Martinet Steps Down as Voice of Mario After Being Unable to Finish Eating Gigantic Bowl of Spaghetti SAN JOSE, Calif. — Famous Nintendo voice actor Charles Martinet has stepped down as the voice of Mario after failing to complete a big bowl…
September 29, 2020 5 Reasons Why We Still Don’t Believe Those ‘3D Mario Collection’ Rumors 5 Reasons Why We Still Don’t Believe Those ‘3D Mario Collection’ Rumors By now you’ve seen the rumors: a collection of some of Mario’s greatest 3D adventures are supposedly going to be released on Switch. Well, if…
